Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 20816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 104(@200wpm)___ 83(@250wpm)___ 69(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 20816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 104(@200wpm)___ 83(@250wpm)___ 69(@300wpm)
That look in Eamon’s eyes.
The way he said I didn’t get to walk out on him, like he meant every word with his entire goddamn soul.
The way he left.
Oh. My. God. I don’t want to leave him. In fact, the thought of not seeing him every day is killing me, but I can’t live like this anymore. I need more. I deserve more.
For a second, my legs wobble so badly that I have to grip the edge of the chair to keep from face-planting into the rug. The second I’m in the hallway, alone, my whole body goes slack, and I realize I’m shaking. Not from fear. Not from anger. From relief.
Two more weeks. I can do this. I have to do it. It’s the only way I’ll ever get over Eamon.
I duck into the staff break room, splash water on my face, and press a cool hand to my forehead. This is fine. I’m fine. If I keep saying it, maybe it’ll come true.
Eamon's nowhere in sight. Oddly enough, that hits me two ways—a rush of relief and that little stab of disappointment, the one I wish I could ignore. But for the first time in ages, I feel like I've stopped lying to myself. I can’t keep running in circles after some impossible dream. It’s time to move forward and embrace my clean slate. All that’s left is figuring out how to break Eamon’s grip on my heart, piece by stubborn piece.
CHAPTER FOUR
EAMON
I have no clue what hits me harder—the words, or the fact that they’re real. Dee is leaving. Not just the bar. Not just quitting on Nathan. Leaving me.
For the first time in my life, I’m stunned stupid. It’s like my brain’s been wiped and the only thing left is raw, burning panic. The urge to scoop her up and run is so strong I almost black out. I have to get out or I’ll do something unspeakable. I fight the urge to throw her over my shoulder and drag her out of here, like some prehistoric moron.
My feet move on autopilot. I slam the goddamn door behind me, and then I storm down the hall with my heart pounding hard against my ribs. I duck into my office and slam that door, too, hard enough that the glass rattles. Not proud of that. Don’t care. My hand shakes as I punch the lock.
Motherfucker.
I brace both arms on the desk and just… breathe. In. Out. In. Out. While one fucking thought circles through my mind on a continuous loop.
Deirdre Quinn is leaving me.
Not leaving the bar. Leaving me. Walking the fuck out of my life without a backward glance.
I want to punch a wall. Instead, I fold myself into the chair and squeeze my fists so tightly my knuckles go white.
I shut my eyes. Count backward from twenty. Doesn’t help.
God, Nothing has ever riled me like this.
I feel like I’ve been punched square in the solar plexus. I’m supposed to be the guy who always has a plan. I’ve made it through three deployments in war zones and walked away from my family’s less-than-legitimate business without a scratch, but I’m not sure I’ll survive Deirdre Quinn packing up and walking out. I thought I was doing the right thing by ignoring my feelings for her, but I never stopped to consider how I’d feel when she actually made plans to leave me.
I want to go back there and demand Dee take it all back. Tell her she’s not allowed to rewrite the rules on us, not now, not after all these years of her being mine. Even if neither of us ever acknowledged it.
Christ, I sound like a lunatic, but I don’t care. I’ve lost my goddamn mind because I’m sitting here in the dark, staring at the same spot on the wall and grinding my teeth, trying to figure out how to fix this fucked up situation.
My phone buzzes. I ignore it. Then it buzzes again, and I give in because, apparently, I have zero self-control where Deirdre Quinn is concerned.
The rest of the shift drags by, and every time I pass in front of the bar, I remember Dee isn’t here. The place feels hollow, just like my goddamn heart.
Closing up without Dee is a nightmare. Not gonna lie, it takes me twice as long to finish everything without her. Half the time, I’m waiting for her to pop out around the corner with a snarky comment, but there’s nothing. Just me and the leftover silence, trying to clean up the mess.
I lock the back door and step out into the darkness. The sidewalk outside feels twice as cold as it should, and a shiver runs through my body as I walk to where my car is parked in its usual spot. I thumb the remote, and the lights flash back.