Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 97079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
He’s quiet for a few seconds. “She’s a good person, Nate. And she has a big heart. Don’t string her along.”
“She said it was just about sex.”
“Is it?”
“For her, yeah, I guess. She kicked me out this morning because she doesn’t want Rix to find out and worry ’cause she’s already stressed enough about the wedding.” I sound pretty disgruntled about it.
“Rix is stressier than I expected, and Essie is hyper-cognizant of that, so I can see her wanting to avoid unnecessary drama. Are you worried about Rix and Tristan finding out?”
“Tristan would be very happy with me.”
“Why do you think that?” Flip asks.
“Because my relationship track record isn’t great.”
“To be fair, Tristan didn’t have a relationship track record until Rix, so he wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on if that’s what he’s upset about.”
“She only wants dick from me anyway.”
“But you want something else?”
“Yeah. No. I don’t know.”
“Sounds like maybe you do know and you’re having a hard time admitting it.”
I can’t talk to Tristan about this, or my dad, or anyone else really. So I guess it’s Flip. “I like her. Like in the bedroom, yeah, but also out of it. She’s fun, and sweet, and thoughtful, and talented, and so smart.” I should find her obsession with all things fairy tale and romance irritating, but now it’s just…endearing. “She’s a ray of sunshine. I like how I feel when I’m around her.” Especially now that we’re not fighting to stay away from each other. “And the sex is unreal.”
“I knew it. I should have acted faster.”
I punch him in the shoulder. “Fuck you.”
“I’m kidding.”
I give him a look.
“Mostly.”
“Seriously, fuck you.” I shove him, and he nearly loses his footing.
“Dude, I’m a guy with a dick, and she’s ridiculously gorgeous, plus all the other things you so helpfully highlighted about her. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve thought about her in a Biblical way. But she’s my sister’s best friend, and I’m not ready for something real, which is what Essie deserves.”
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t want real with me,” I grumble.
“I feel like you’re not telling me something.” We reach the end of the resort beach, and he stops, hands on his knees, sweat dripping from his brow.
I sigh and drag a hand through my sweaty hair.
“Spit it out, man. I won’t tell Tris or Rix. Whatever you say stays here on this beach.”
“I kissed her once at a party the summer before I went to university,” I admit. “I’ve never told anyone. And as far as I know, she never has either.”
“Interesting. What happened after the kiss?”
I scrub a hand over my face. “I was supposed to call her the next day.”
“But you didn’t.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
I tip my head up. It’s a clear, beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. “So many reasons. I was leaving for Kingston in a few weeks.”
“And you didn’t want to do the long-distance thing?”
“One of the guys I hung out with started giving me the gears. Told me about the friend of his Essie dated, how she was in love with him two weeks in, and I don’t know… I guess I just freaked out?” I meet his gaze, expecting judgment, but all I get is Flip’s impassive empathy, so I keep going. “I didn’t think I could handle a relationship, especially not with someone who could fall in love with me. I just wanted to have fun, you know? I couldn’t deal with serious then.” Based on my track record, I don’t know if I can handle it now. Ironic that for the first time since Lisa broke it off, it’s something I’m considering. “So I ghosted her.”
Flip nods. “Well, that explains the weird tension when you two were around each other until recently.”
“What weird tension?”
“She’s always fussing with herself, like she’s self-conscious, and you’re always in the worst of fucking moods. Probably because you feel like a guilty asshole.”
“Basically, yeah.”
“So you’ve explained why you ghosted her, then?” he asks.
“That’s the thing…we haven’t really addressed it.” The times she’s mentioned it, we haven’t been in a place where I could issue the apology she deserves.
“But you’re fucking.” It’s a statement, not a question.
Fucking sounds so…crude. Emotionless. “Yeah.”
“You should at least be honest with her about the past. I’m hazarding a guess that she’s okay with the current arrangement because she has ideas about why things went down the way they did back then. Telling her the truth could change that.”
“I don’t know if I want it to change.”
His expression shifts, his smile a little sad. “It already has, Nate. It’s written all over your face. Maybe the arrangement started as just sex, but you have feelings. Not sharing them with her doesn’t stop them from existing.” He’s different than the Flip I moved in with almost a year ago. I’m not sure what inspired the change, but his insightfulness is surprising.