Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“For fuck’s sake.” She huffs. “Does Mildred know how you feel?”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel. It wasn’t part of the deal, and she deserves better.”
Coach shakes her head. “If this is the version of you she’s getting, then yeah, I’d agree. Get your head on straight, Connor. Figure your shit out and stop bringing your personal life onto the ice.”
I blink at her. “Are you done?”
“No, actually.” Her expression hardens. “You’re about to blow up your life and your career because you’re too afraid to face your own feelings. You’re not the only person who stands to lose something here.” And with that, she turns and walks away.
I go back to the hotel and run into Romero in the hall on the way to my room.
“Hey, man, I know today’s game was rough, but don’t be too hard on yourself,” he says. “I know the situation with your grams has been weighing on you.”
“I don’t deserve a pass for fucking up the game for my team.”
“You didn’t fuck it up by yourself,” he counters. “We were all out there, too.”
“I made it worse.” I pass the card over the sensor.
He’s quiet for a moment. “I’m going to Ryker’s room to hang out for a bit. You should come. We can talk strategy for the next game.”
“Better if I don’t spread my bad mood around.” I shoulder my door open.
“If you change your mind, we’re in room six twenty-six.”
“I won’t, but thanks.”
He leaves me to stew in my own self-loathing.
My phone buzzes with a message. I pull it out of my pocket, almost hoping for one from my father, so I can get into it with him, too. But he doesn’t watch my games.
My Darling Wife
Hey, how are you?
I stare at the message for long minutes. I’m fucking awful. I let my team down, I’m away for three more days before I can see Meems again, and I’m certain that when Meems is in good form again, I’ll have to let you go.
My Darling Wife
Meems had a good day. They have her up and walking around. We played Connect Four and she kicked my ass. The doctors said if she keeps improving they could release her as soon as next week.
Please respond.
Connor
That’s good news.
My Darling Wife
Can I call you?
Connor
Not right now.
My Darling Wife
Are you out with the team?
Connor
I just can’t talk.
My Darling Wife
Are you okay?
The answer is no. I’m not remotely okay. I’m scared. I’m fucking everything up. But I can’t tell her the truth when there are hours and too many miles separating us. And I’m terrified her feelings won’t match mine.
Connor
I’m fine. I just don’t have the energy to talk.
The dots appear and disappear three times.
She doesn’t respond.
Which is what I asked for. Dammit.
The next morning when we’re boarding the plane, I overhear Flip talking to my wife on the phone. Of course she went to him. He would never shut her out. He’s her best friend, the person she confides in the most.
When I lose her, he’ll be there to help her move forward. And I’ll be exactly as Meems feared I would be: alone.
CHAPTER 42
DRED
“Ivote this is where we watch all the playoff games.” Tally stretches out in the leather recliner in the theater room at Meems’s, her bowl of popcorn on the tray in front of her and a margarita in her hand.
“I agree,” says Rix.
“Same!” Hammer drops into the seat next to Rix.
“We should have movie nights here in the offseason,” Essie suggests.
“I love that idea!” Hemi hits the button to adjust her leg rest.
“It’s a great room,” I agree. But I don’t make any promises. I have no idea what things will look like next week, let alone during playoffs.
It took more than twenty-four hours for Connor to finally call me after the shitty game against Ottawa, and all he asked about was Meems. He didn’t want to talk about the game, nor did he ask how I’m handling all of this. I don’t know where the Connor I married has gone, and it’s eating me alive.
“I can’t wait until the boys are home tomorrow.” Rix passes around the box of cookies Tristan sent her.
“I’m sure the produce in your fridge is also excited for his return,” Tally mutters, not quite under her breath.
Rix throws her arms in the air. “It was one time!”
“One unforgettable time,” Tally adds.
“Gotta admit, I’m not the biggest fan of these long on-the-road stretches, and neither are my lady parts,” Hemi says.
“Same. Batdick is nice and all, but he leaves a lot to be desired in the post-orgasm-cuddles department.” Hammer sighs.
Essie’s eyes light up. “Hollis is totally a cuddlebug, isn’t he?”
“The biggest,” Hammer confirms.
Essie gets a dreamy look on her face. “So is Nate. We could probably get away with a double bed because he’s always wrapped around me all night long.”