Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Nah, that can’t be right. You’d just get more desperate for it.”
“I can tell you, that’s not the case. At least while I was closeted. After a while, I forgot how to have sex.”
“Forgot … sex … Well, shit, if you ever need any pointers.” Iris smiles at me, and fuck, that’s dangerous. It promises things he can’t actually promise.
I know he used to be a rule-breaker, but from what I’ve seen the last couple of days, he has grown up a lot since he was the eighteen-year-old kid freshly enlisted.
“I’m good now. Thanks.” Though, I’m not really. The last time I was with someone was before my mission. I’ve spent the last few months focused on getting better.
That, and I have weird scars all over my body from where I was shot. I haven’t had to tackle that issue yet—explaining what happened to me to someone new. Eh, future me problem.
“You know, it’s my experience a lot of guys think they’re all good when they’re not. I’m willing to take one for the team here and show you what’s what. I’m doing it for all gay kind.”
I get the dreaded feeling he’s being serious. And the only reason to dread it is because Iris would be impossible to say no to.
My gaze narrows. “Okay, I know you’re messing with me, but stop staring at me like that. You’ll make me think you’re not. And I know the rules. One of the first things Trav told me was no fraternizing with other teammates.”
Those sly lips turn up in the corners. “I am messing with you. Though I think I still make a valid point. You should have sex with someone before you forget how again. It would be a shame for me to be better at sex than you as well as all the other shit I kicked your ass at yesterday. Face it, Saint, I’ve grown to be the better man.”
I slap his shoulder on my way out. “Let’s see how today goes, shall we?”
“Oh, it’s on.”
Chapter Nine
Iris
I march across the ground toward the shooting range, muttering to myself. “Fuck my fucking mouth.”
“I’ll pass,” a voice says behind me.
I turn to find Zeus gaining ground. I didn’t realize I was that loud. “Bullshit. You’d do anything to get me to suck your dick.”
“Except quit Mike Bravo. Hence why it’s never happened. What did your mouth get you in trouble for this time?”
“The usual—don’t know when to shut it.”
“Ah. Nothing to see here. Just another day in the life of Iris.”
“Exactly.”
“You piss off the new guy?”
I purse my lips because I don’t want anyone to know I was openly flirting with Saint. “Something like that. I’m better than anyone in the world. Bow down and worship me like you want to.”
Zeus laughs. “Your humbleness knows no bounds.”
“Why be humble when you can be awesome instead?”
Now he sighs.
It’s easy to use misdirection with these guys and make a joke out of everything, but then I think of the conversations I’ve had with Saint the last two nights and can’t help noting that he’s already seen a side of me that the others haven’t. I don’t really do serious. On a mission, sure, but when it comes to things like emotions and PTSD, I’m a closed book.
I saw one too many guys during my time in the army not get the help they needed. I’ve experienced more loss through friends who have only seen one way out than what I have in an actual war zone. But I shut that all out when I left the military.
Trav has so many more resources, and he cares for all of us in a way the government never did. We were just numbers to the army, soldiers that were necessary but expendable. And where one would fall, another would take their place.
Seeing Saint how he is now and knowing what he used to be like, I fear he might fall on the wrong side of that line. I know Saint has had therapy thanks to Trav, and I don’t think he’s in a downward spiral or that he’s in a dark place. But I do worry obsessing over getting his memory back will tilt him in that direction.
And what do I do? Offer to have sex with him.
Because of course I do.
Sometimes I think I shouldn’t be allowed to make any adult decisions and that I really do live up to the Iris name.
At least I was able to play it off like I was joking. I’m glad he called me on it because I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened in that bathroom if he’d seemed the tiniest bit interested.
Actually, I’m not fooling myself. I know I’ll be thinking about it. Especially whenever I get the chance to jerk off next which will be God knows when.