Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 83109 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83109 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“All right, look. The good thing is, a lot of queer couples aren’t overly affectionate in public anyway, so most people won’t question that, but they will expect something. I’m fine with whatever, but how about you tell me what you’re comfortable with, and we’ll stick to that.”
“Like … hugging and stuff, you mean?”
He cracks a smile. “And stuff.”
“Okay, where do we start?”
“The hugging is fine, right? We do that all the time.”
“Exactly.”
“And we’ve already agreed no sex with other people.” He winks. “Or each other.”
Hmm … I don’t think I actually agreed to that one at all. “I’ll try to keep my hands to myself.”
“Speaking of hands, holding them in public, ye or nay?”
“Yes, I’d do that anyway.” I think about what else. “Can I call you husband?”
“Of course. I assume kissing is obviously a no.”
“Is it?”
His attention snaps back to me. “Isn’t it?”
“It seems like something husbands would do. And I kiss your cheek and head all the time; it’s not like your mouth is all that different.”
“But … you’re straight,” he says like he’s explaining it for the hundredth time.
“And?”
“You’re telling me you’d be comfortable kissing me in front of people without fucking it up?”
I shrug. “I managed it once, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but—”
“It’s fine. It’s not like I didn’t like it.”
It takes a minute to pick up on the silence that’s fallen over the room. My gaze moves to Tripp’s widened eyes.
He clears his throat and breaks eye contact. “I think we can manage with that.”
“Okay.” Relief trickles through me. “We can do this, can’t we?”
“Sure we can.” He reaches for his coffee then turns to his phone, so I grab mine and settle in beside him.
My notifications are still full. I can’t bring myself to delete any of them. All I know is that even though I feel like a phony, I like reading these people’s stories. They’re trying to connect in a way, and some of them are really sweet.
I scroll through a few more until I reach a message that makes me pause.
Hey Dex Mitchale, good chance you won’t even read this but I’ve seen some nasty comments from people who think you were only ‘playing’ straight which is bullshit. My boyfriend and I knew each other on and off the ice for years and never felt that spark for each other. I’ve never thought about any guy that way. If you’d asked me a few years ago if I’d ever have sex with a dude, the answer would have been ‘hell no.’ Then one day, we were dared to kiss, and it changed everything. His gender wasn’t important to me, just him. I’m not sure I’ll ever be attracted to another man, and I haven’t worked out yet if I even consider myself queer because I don’t care about labels, but he’s the guy I’m going to spend my life with. Once you know, you just know. Even aside from the sex (and, dude, I never realized it could be so hot) he’s my person and it sounds like you’ve found yours. So congrats, and I’m beyond happy to see another player representing us queer guys in the league, no matter what the haters say. All the best.
I read it twice, then read it again, mouth hanging open as I try to digest so much information at once.
This guy doesn’t think he’s queer even though he plans to spend his life with a man? And people call me dumb. Though, I’m sure Tripp has said before no one can tell someone else how to identify.
But if he’s straight, how? I can’t wrap my head around it.
He kissed this guy, and he liked it. So he tried more.
I liked kissing Tripp. Does that mean I’d be like this guy and enjoy more? Or did I only enjoy it because it was Tripp?
Wait. Maybe that’s this guy’s point.
My brain hurts.
All I know is these two were friends who kissed and became more. That’s exactly like us. In a roundabout way.
For the first time since getting these messages, I don’t feel like a complete fraud. Tripp is my person. I want him there always. There’s nothing better than when he’s spooning me, and that kiss was … confusing. But I did like it.
Would I still like it if we did it again?
I’ve never even considered sex with a man. I wouldn’t know what to do with another dick, but when I jerk off, it feels damn good, so if it feels good for my dick, wouldn’t it feel good for someone else’s?
I glance over at Tripp and try to see him the way I would if I was gay. He’s got really broad shoulders, and his arms are huge in a way mine could never be.
Is that attractive?
I’m not sure.
I can picture myself holding on to them while we kiss, but does that actually mean anything? Kissing isn’t sex. And when I try to picture kissing his chest, his abs, his—