Total pages in book: 203
Estimated words: 199654 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 998(@200wpm)___ 799(@250wpm)___ 666(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199654 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 998(@200wpm)___ 799(@250wpm)___ 666(@300wpm)
Too soon, a ride I would never have voluntarily gotten on and one that I’d only ever get on with Jase is over and he’s helping me out of the gondola with his hands on my waist.
He stares into my eyes. I stare into his.
And we’re in some sort of frozen moment before something drags his focus away from my face.
“Over here,” he says, and tugs my hand. “Let’s win you another stuffed animal. Want another lemonade?”
He pays five bucks, throws three baseballs, and each one hits the targets. We get told, in a semi-disgruntled way, that we can pick one of the big stuffies.
But there’s no big wolf one. They’re all dogs and bears. So I ask if I can have a small wolf instead. The carnival worker looks at me weirdly but agrees and passes me a black and white wolf with blue eyes.
“Not this one,” Jase says, grouchily, tossing it back to the carnival worker. “What else you got?”
That wolf obviously looked too much like Joel for his liking. When our pack had the carnival, we had the stuffed wolves specially made, to look like each of our council alphas. They screwed up the Jase one, unfortunately, but I fixed mine by dipping the end of his tail in white out.
This gives me an idea. I want to organize another pack carnival, this time with seven stuffed wolves, because that one only had six.
The carny says he has no other stuffed wolves, suggests we dig through the bin of whatever they’ve got. I find myself lifting a small Tinkerbelle fairy stuffy.
I examine her a minute until my eyes hit Jase’s. He’s staring at the doll and now at me.
I shrug and we say nothing for a pregnant moment.
I think he’s thinking what I’m thinking. Not that he knows about the booties, but about the little fairy. A future grandchild?
“I’ll take this one,” I tell the carnival worker.
“You wanna play any games?” Jase asks, tone gruff.
I wrinkle my nose.
“Anything else you wanna do?” he asks.
“Um… how far until we get to the drive-in? And which movie is first? I’m not sure I can sit through two. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Breakfast Club is first.” He looks at his phone. “Starts in an hour and a half and we’re a little over half an hour from there. Want some dessert?”
“I’m kind of full,” I say, but he leads me toward the deep-fried cheesecake bites truck, saying, “I’m not.”
“Apple for me,” Jase orders and looks at me with innuendo in his expression.
“Okay, me, too,” I say, meeting his gaze and holding it.
He leans in and says, “It won’t smell as good as you,” and kisses the side of my head again. “Without firsthand knowledge yet I still know it won’t taste as good as you. But maybe it’ll help hold me over.”
Goosebumps rise on every inch of my body.
“Well, you’ve always smelled a little like cinnamon, so… quite a combination.”
His eyes light up and he smiles wide, flashing those kryptonite dimples of his. “Oh yeah?”
I look away, feeling my face get hot.
Jase pays for the desserts and muses, “Interesting,” before he wraps an arm around me and we step to the side to wait.
The sounds, the lights, the excitement in the air, and all the carnival smells…
Me holding a cute little stuffed fairy with Jason Creed’s arm wrapped around me.
Is this really my life?
A future with this guy? With children. Being part of the inner council circle instead of on the outskirts, pushing myself out so I don’t have to watch Jase with someone else?
Wait. I won’t ever have to watch Jase with someone else.
Never. I was so afraid of that. Sick to my stomach over how that would feel. But it won’t ever happen.
My heart gallops hard, rattling my chest.
What’ll change when we get past the awkward stuff? When we get to everyday life?
Everyday life. With Jase.
At that thought, I’m feeling panic rise in me.
My chin is being tipped up and now our eyes are locked.
“It’s gonna be amazing,” he whispers and puts his lips to my forehead. Still speaking, he adds, “I promise you.”
It’s like he knows what I’m thinking. How afraid I am.
I want to put my arms around him, too, but I don’t.
I’m overcome with absolute terror. Because if I really do get everything I ever wanted, I’ll have so fucking much to lose.
***
When we pull into a parking spot at the drive-in, Jase reclines his seat a little and grabs my hand, kissing it, before setting his eyes on the screen.
But ten minutes later, he’s asleep, still holding my hand.
And after the first movie ends, he’s still asleep and I need to pee, so I quietly slip away to the restroom building, about forty feet away.
When I get back, he’s still out like a light. So I watch the second movie. Because I know he didn’t sleep last night.