Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39245 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39245 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
“Christ, Finn, we’re fucking good at this.”
“Mmm…” Words weren’t happening, not with his brain this scrambled and complete satiation warming his limbs. He let Ajax hold him up until he felt he could move, then pulled back to stare at him, at that beautiful face he wanted to look at forever.
He’d been right to worry. Ajax was going to break his heart.
Ajax
Ajax woke with Finn plastered to his back, but he could tell by the way he breathed that he wasn’t asleep. “Something on your mind?” he whispered.
Thick arms tightened around him. “I know we’ve been together every night, but I’m still not used to sleeping with anyone.”
Ajax wasn’t sure how to take that, his skin prickling at the thought of Finn not liking this as much as he did. He started to pull away.
“No.” Finn held him even closer. “That wasn’t a complaint,” he said softly. “I was actually lying here and thinking about how much I like this. That it feels right.”
“It does to me, too.”
“I’ve never wanted to hold anyone like this. It’s new. But it’s…good.” He gave a sort of strangled chuckle. “And I was really thinking about how much I like the fact you smell like me.”
“I smell like sex. The whole room probably does with the way we went at each other last night.”
“I was rough.”
There was a hint of apology in his words.
“I liked it.”
“You’re human and I could have hurt you.”
“I’m tough, Finn.” He turned in Finn’s arms until they faced each other. “I want you to feel like you can be yourself with me. Please don’t worry about losing yourself to passion like that. Sometimes sex is rough. When it’s good. And believe me, that was beyond good.”
“It was.” Finn stroked a finger over his lips. “Soft can be good, too.”
Ajax shivered at the thought of having that with Finn. He wanted all the kinds. He was in love. Real love. Not the affection he’d held for Alan and other past lovers. This felt all encompassing, like he needed Finn to keep breathing.
He slid his thigh between Finn’s, loving the rasp of hair. “Yeah,” he finally said, still whispering. “Soft is good, too.”
“But not right now. You have to be sore.”
“I am, but it’s a good reminder. I like sex, but that felt different. Intense.” He was quiet a couple of moments, breathing in their combined scents. “There was a time when I didn’t think I liked sex. Took me a long time to realize that I only felt attraction when I grew to care for a person.”
“You’re demisexual?”
“Probably. Though I was attracted to you faster than my usual.”
Finn didn’t say anything for a moment before he spoke, “There could be a reason for that.”
Ajax lifted his head but couldn’t see Finn in the darkness of the bedroom. “What reason?”
“For preternaturals, this sort of intense attraction can mean something pretty big. We can have soulmates. Until recently, I didn’t know that humans could be that to us.”
Ajax held his breath, his heart skipping a beat. Of course he knew about the lore of soulmates. Two souls destined for each other. Perfectly matches pieces of a whole. It permeated both literature and music, a dream lore that appealed to anyone who believed in true love. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Wait.” He extracted his leg from between Finn’s, sat up and flipped the bedside lamp onto the lowest setting, though he still blinked at the abrupt addition of light to the room. “I need to see you.”
Finn sat up, too, his expression serious.
“Do you think that I—”
Finn nodded.
“Whoa.”
“That’s also why I wasn’t sleeping. Ajax, this would change everything for you.”
“Of course it would.”
“Not in a good way,” Finn added.
“What do you mean? Soulmates mean we could be together. Stay together. I don’t know about you, but six months isn’t enough time for what I’m feeling for you.”
Finn picked up his hand, then threaded their fingers together. When he didn’t speak, Ajax quickly grew concerned.
“What do you mean, Finn?” he repeated.
“We would bond.”
“Thought we’re already doing that.”
“Truly bond. For life.”
“You mean my life, right? Humans don’t live as long as you guys.”
“But if we were to bond, you would. You’re famous, live your life in front of an audience. You’d stop aging and people would notice.” Finn looked away from him, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “You’d have to step out of the limelight. Disappear from public. I couldn’t do that to you because you’ve worked hard for this life you chose.”
Oh.
Ajax didn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t performing. He could still write music, maybe write it for others, but even behind the scenes he would garner attention for never aging. The thought of being with Finn, truly being with Finn, filled him with incredible joy, yet he also loved music. Not being able to create it…not to perform it… He wasn’t sure what that would do to him.