Total pages in book: 34
Estimated words: 31820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 31820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
“Some dogs love attention, but if they’re being walked or trained, that is a whole different ball game. Besides, are we talking about dogs with owners?” Knox asked.
“Don’t try to make me feel better. There is no difference. I’m unlovable.”
This was not a conversation he wanted to have. Why the fuck did this end up with him? He let Ava stay home, while he had to come and talk with this. It made no fucking sense.
“You’re not unlovable.”
He laughed, and it was a forced sound. “You could have fooled me. My parents couldn’t stand to be around me. They had nannies, fucking nannies to take care of me. All they wanted was for me to grow up, get my shit together, and I tried to do that. You know what it got me?”
Knox was silent.
“No parents. They died on the way to another fucking party. Parties they couldn’t even afford to attend, and yet they were there.” He shook his head. “The family business was in the fucking toilet. So much debt, and it was left to me to figure shit out. I barely knew what I was doing.”
“But you did it.”
“That is beside the point. Parents shouldn’t fuck things up this way. Parents should get their shit together.”
Knox turned to look at Marshal. “You know, parents aren’t fucking superheroes. They’re not great humans with a sudden understanding of the universe. They’re people, like you and me. They don’t have some magical wand that tells them the secrets to the universe. I bet most people who end up becoming parents don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They are taking care of themselves, and then boom, they’re a mother or father, and need to know how to keep a human alive, how to nurture it. Parents are still people, Marshal. People who are getting through life the best they can, constantly being told what they’re doing is wrong, or what happened when you were a kid is wrong. That this should happen, and that should happen. It is constantly changing, but you know what doesn’t change?”
“What?”
“People are still fucking people. You can have the most stable, the most in control, and still, it’s a job that in all honesty, I don’t think anyone has the right to say if it’s good or bad.”
Knox ran fingers through his hair.
“Why do I feel this is getting a little more personal?” Marshal asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I left you and Ava alone, and we both know you’ve been going at it like rabbits. The way you two look at each other, there is no way you’re not fucking. Anyway, sex leads to babies, and well, your whole career is killing people or taking care of them. Are you shitting yourself at the prospect of becoming a dad?”
Knox laughed, but then he looked toward Marshal, before glancing across the park into the darkness.
“I don’t even know if she’s pregnant yet. This could all be bullshit. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know that and you know that, but that doesn’t stop the panic, does it?” Marshal asked. “There is a chance you could be a father. The odds are like one in however many sperm you release.”
“Let’s not talk about sperm.”
“I hear it’s time to talk about it,” Marshal said. “You’re freaking out about being a dad, and I’m freaking out about being alone, and yeah, I wanted to blame my parents for not being there, because it’s easy.” He sighed.
“There are good and bad people in this world, Marshal. It’s up to you to decide which you want to be.”
“Just like it will be up to you what kind of dad you want to be. There, or not there.”
Knox laughed. “Does it matter? If I’m there, I could be over-fucking-bearing. If I’m not there, I’m fucking absent. Shit, what the fuck am I turning into?”
“A man that cares. Does this mean you’re going to make an honest woman out of Ava, and marry her? If so, can I please organize the wedding?”
He looked at Marshal, and he couldn’t believe that this man, a client, had actually become his best friend.
“Sure,” Knox said. “Now, are you coming home, or staying here with your pity party?”
“I’m going home.”
Chapter Ten
Marshal’s favorite food was meat spaghetti with cheese. Ava didn’t know why it was his favorite, but it was something he asked her to cook often. He loved to have it with a mix of cheese. There were also times he loved it spicy, other times mild, but always flavorful.
Ava grabbed some cream cheese out of the fridge, along with some Gouda and Cheddar she thought would be really nice. After chopping up some onion and garlic, she placed them in a pot with a couple of tablespoons of butter, and got to cooking. She stirred the onions, adding some salt and pepper, and her mind drifted to Knox.