Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 106298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
The shower turning off alerts me to adjust my pillows against the walnut headboard before sitting up and situating myself. After sending some texts, I set my phone on the nightstand and clock the curtains still open with dots of light speckling the darkness outside. I don’t think about the city watching me anymore, but she’ll be exposed. I hit the remote to close the curtains and give us privacy.
We still have a lot to talk about, but setting that aside, I want to enjoy our time together and lie in bed with her. And other things . . .
“We don’t have to stay married,” she says, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her torso. Freshly showered with her hair piled on her head, she’s tan against the bright white of the material, and her skin glistens with a few drops on her shoulders that she missed. I’ll be happy to take care of those for her with my tongue. “There have been shorter Hollywood marriages than two weeks, so we wouldn’t be the first to change our minds. Well . . .” Her hair bobbles on top of her head when she shakes it. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, she rests back on one hand. “Not that we’re changing our minds. More gaming the system to work in our favor. Two weeks tops and then you’re free again.”
“But what if we did?” The way she views this as a merger more than a marriage doesn’t bother me. It’s only come about because of a business agreement. So that makes sense. I can’t fault her when I haven’t been forthcoming with my feelings.
I can talk about myself all day at work, talk shit on the basketball court, and have never minded bragging about myself to other women. She doesn’t want that from me. She wants what’s in my head but also my heart. It’s a big ask. But I’m giving her both without admitting the truth—I’d marry her if she had asked simply because she loves me. I know a good thing when I see it.
“What if we did?” Her eyes widen. “Stay married?”
“Yes.” We’re a new relationship to her with training wheels still attached. I’m already riding without holding the handlebars. I know we’re meant to be together. She just doesn’t see it yet.
“Baylor? Aw. That’s so sweet, but I know you aren’t looking for marriage.”
We agreed to keep it a secret, not to hurt her mom or my family, but to include them when we’re ready to reveal it. If we do. As I listen to her now, there might not be a need.
“Why do you say that?”
She aims her gaze at the pillow next to me and then back at me. “I don’t know why I thought that. Believing that you prefer dating over commitment? When was your last relationship?”
“When was yours?” I snap back.
Offense shapes her expression, dragging her lips to part. Very distracting. “That’s not fair. I don’t have the same options back in the Pass as you do here.”
I stare at her for a moment. I’ve done this to myself, and her best friend probably didn’t do me any favors over the years. Do I blame my sister? Nah. She didn’t have all the facts, but she also probably wasn’t far off from the truth, and she has my best friend who witnessed plenty of bad behavior. I’m sure he leaves himself out of some of those details, though. I won’t spill our secrets. But I do say, “Neither one of us is particularly walking around with our head in the clouds. That’s a luxury never afforded us. We’re products of hardworking ranching families or seeing things through a different lens. Who knows. But I want to be clear on marriage. It means something to me.”
She crawls across the mattress to situate herself next to me. With a mischievous grin, she whispers, “It does?”
“Yes. I know this is about money for us, but I could write you a check if that’s all it was about, or make sure you have free rent for life—”
“How would you do that?”
Shit.
This hole keeps getting deeper. Eventually, I need to put the shovel down. Not tonight, though. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open because it feels real to me, as real as she is before me now. When should I let her in on that secret?
I’m starting to think that the perfect time is after the I dos, which makes me a horrible fucking person for taking advantage of the situation. Looking at her here in bed with me, she fits into my life in the city like this is every day for us. It could be.
Though I shouldn’t trick myself into believing she’d move here because I know she won’t or can’t. Both. So I enjoy her presence and the way she looks so at home while I can.