Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77900 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77900 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“You got upset anytime I tried. You couldn’t see or feel anything but your anger, but I think your football player has helped you see that it’s not the game, but the situation, and it’s not all on the man, either. I was just as guilty for the demise of our marriage.”
“I feel like the last fifteen years have been a lie,” I confess.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I should have insisted that you sit down and have this conversation. Your dad never wanted me to. He said you’d come around in your own time. With each year that passed, I tried less and less, which again, is on me. I failed you there. I was with you every day. I could see your anger, but I didn’t sit you down to make you understand.”
I glance at Amanda, and she smiles. “He loves you, Bella. I can see it when he looks at you. He was proud as a peacock that day at the stadium, during family day. He was introducing you to everyone, including Reid.” She snickers.
“I like to think life has a way of working out. I think the universe knew you needed a man to show you. That’s the only way you were ever going to work past the anger and resentment.”
My head is spinning. All this time, it wasn’t just him. Why have I never considered that? I know why: I was angry and needed someone to blame. He wasn’t there, so he got all of it. The weight of all the years I’ve lost with my dad because I was too stubborn to see the forest through the trees sits heavily on my chest.
“What’s in the box?” I ask my mom.
She gives me a sad smile and hands it to me. Pulling off the lid, I see lots of envelopes. “What’s this?”
“They’re all from your dad. You refused the first several, so after that, I just put them in this box. I thought maybe one day, you might want to see them.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I try to blink them away, but it’s no use. They fall unchecked, coating my cheeks. Lifting the first envelope, I flip it over. It’s sealed, so I slide my finger underneath and pull out the contents. It’s a birthday card—my thirteenth. A check falls out, for thirteen hundred dollars. “I can’t believe my baby girl is a teenager. I love you so much, my Bella. I hope you have the best birthday. I’d love to see you when you’re ready. Love, Dad,.” I read his note inside the card.
“He loves you so much, Bellamy. After the first birthday, when the check wasn’t cashed, he started wiring me the money, in addition to sending you a check.”
“That’s how we took those trips every year for my birthday?” I ask her.
She nods. “I mean, I make good money as a paralegal, but not that kind of money. You never asked, and I never told you, because anytime I mentioned his name, you got upset and even angrier. That’s on me. I should have made you listen. As your mother, that was my job, and I’m sorry I let you down.”
I want to be mad at her, but honestly, I’m so tired of being angry. I’m in such a good place in my life. I’ve met a man who makes me smile every day. We’re living together and starting a family. I want to swim in happiness and push the sadness away. “I’m so tired of being angry,” I say, choking on my tears.
“Oh, Bellamy.” Mom pulls me into a hug.
“Damn you, Warner women!” Amanda scolds as she sniffs, and we all laugh.
“Leave them here, or take them. Either way, they’re yours.”
“I think… I think I’ll take them with me.”
Mom smiles. “Okay.” She wipes at her eyes. “Now, we have to watch my ex-husband and my future son-in-law bring home a win.” She winks and turns to head toward the living room.
“Did that just happen?” I ask Amanda.
“It did. You doing okay?”
I think about her question and nod. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Damn, Reid Montgomery must have some skills.” She smirks, and we both chuckle.
She’s not wrong, but it’s not his skills that have changed me. It’s him and his constant presence, whether we’re at home together or he’s on the road. There’s never a doubt in my mind that he’s not thinking about me. He makes certain never to let me forget. Reid is putting in the work, and I vow to do better.
This life we’re building is what I want. He’s what I want, and I’m not sure if I’ve done the best job at telling him or showing him. I’ve pushed past my fears, but no matter how hard I try, I’ve allowed them to linger. But no more. I meant what I said. I’m so tired of being angry. I just want to relish the happiness that’s my life and enjoy every second of it.