Total pages in book: 162
Estimated words: 153946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 770(@200wpm)___ 616(@250wpm)___ 513(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 153946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 770(@200wpm)___ 616(@250wpm)___ 513(@300wpm)
Because the gynecologist had said my hormones were fluctuating too much for antidepressants to be a reliable form of treatment and suggested I meditate or see a therapist instead. She was also the one who said my lady store was closed, though she’d been completely wrong on that score.
“This is just me, Morgan.” I tugged lightly until she released my hand. “All natural and organic. I’m doing better, with no medication required.”
She stared at me with a small frown crinkling the skin between her eyes. “I’m not trying to insult you. I’m trying to get a handle on why you’d let Wade help you out by renting the apartment and giving you a job—bartending and billing?—when you’ve barely spoken to him in years.”
I’d called it. “I knew you’d think he was giving me charity. But I put the apartment up for rent before he showed up. That’s why he showed up. He had an app that notified him it was for rent and he wanted a place that wasn’t his sister’s couch and didn’t have a dog sitter straight out of Fatal Attraction trying to put the moves on him.”
She scowled. “I’m never hiring her to take care of the kids again. And after the phone call we had when I got back, I doubt we’ll ever speak again either.”
“At least you have your priorities straight,” I sniped quietly.
“What do you mean by that?”
“You stand up for your dogs while accusing your sister of taking advantage of your friend.”
“I’m not accusing you of anything, but thank you for explaining. I understand the Wade situation better now, and I might have done the same in his shoes. And like I said, I’m thankful he was there when a tree fell on your roof. But that doesn’t account for the rest of it.”
“I think it does.” It seemed fairly straightforward to me. “He asked for a place to rent. Bernie asked me to help at the icehouse. Wade also asked if I’d help my goddaughter out by doing her work while she got ready to have her baby. They asked and I said yes instead of no. Because it felt good to be needed, and I was tired of my life being in ‘shambles.’”
She pointed at me. “I knew that’s what this was about. You were upset when we left and you reacted by making out-of-character decisions. Like renting the apartment when you said you never would.”
I couldn’t argue with her about that. I had done it in direct response to that morning at the drop-off. But it ended up being the right call, hadn’t it? “I’m not sure what you’re upset about, Morgan. These are all good things.”
She took a breath, as if bracing herself. “I think you’ve gone too far the other way. You’ve put so much on your plate now that you’re setting yourself up for failure.”
I frowned. “Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel.”
“I’m serious, August,” she said earnestly. “You’re writing again and finally feeling better. You should be focusing on that. On finishing your book, fulfilling your contract and getting your life back. Instead, you’re doing computer work for Wade and waitressing for Phoebe, inviting Chick over and yes, deciding to sell the car that’s in better condition than your own so you can race in it, instead of keeping it as your backup. Racing,” she emphasized. “Putting yourself in danger in a speeding vehicle doesn’t sound like something I should be worried about? Something you wouldn’t normally do?”
“That’s the point. I wouldn’t normally do it, so now I’m literally taking the wheel. Trying something new.”
“It’s like you’re being deliberately obtuse. You were like this when you were younger too. You wanted to take on everything, then when one thing went wrong, you holed up in your bedroom and escaped into a book until one of us dragged you back out into the sunshine again. When I mentioned taking steps, I meant one at a time. You can’t make up for two years in under a month. It feels a little manic to me.”
Manic? I was manic now?
“I know I haven’t been in a great place for a while, Morgan,” I said quietly, getting to my feet. I didn’t want to have this argument. “But I lived for a very long time before moving here without you deciding what my behavior meant and what I should and shouldn’t do. Maybe I didn’t do things as perfectly as you could have, but I managed.”
“I’m only trying to help you.”
I thought about what Bernie said. That she wasn’t supposed to bother me. Morgan was trying to handle me like I was a situation to be sorted. She knew what she wanted me to do, and she didn’t appreciate any deviations. “I know you mean well, and you were right that things weren’t fine with me. But I’m trying to fix that now. And I’m being productive again. Can’t you be happy about that, instead of poking holes into everything and expecting me to fail?” I shook my head, genuinely baffled. “I swear you seem more upset now then you were when I was hiding at home.”