Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“The entire team turned on you,” Livia says in understanding. “The coach got away with it. Adam got to keep his story. The team got to keep their version of events. And you,” she says, full understanding dawning. “You got to be the problem. The guy who couldn’t be trusted. The one who burned it down for no reason.”
“And now you know,” I say, my anger surging brighter. I’m sitting here in her chair in her office with my chest cracked open and eleven years of carefully contained damage spread out between us.
It’s a story I didn’t want her to have, but she kept pushing, and now she can choke on it.
She pushed past the boundary of what we agreed to. She used the sessions and the patience and the professional calibration and then, when that wasn’t enough, she used us. She reached into what we are to each other and used it as a tool and I handed her everything because she said Trust me and I was stupid enough to do it.
I look at her.
There’s a flicker of awareness in her expression as she just realized she went too far and knows it.
“Locke—”
“There.” I push out of the chair. “You have it.”
“Please don’t—”
“The whole thing.” I pick up my jacket. My words are very quiet and very steady. I feel the walls locking back into place. “The origin, the incident, the fallout, the years of managed consequences. The reason for the anger and the isolation and the disciplinary record and everything else you needed for your report.” I look at her. “Are you satisfied?”
“This isn’t about the report,” she says. “This was never just—”
“You pushed until I cracked,” I snarl at her. “That’s your job. That’s what you were hired to do.” I put the jacket on. “Get the reluctant player to open up. Identify the source. Complete the assessment.” I hold her gaze. “And when the professional tools weren’t enough, you used the personal ones. Very effective. Patrick Rowe should be pleased.”
She stands up. “That’s not what this was.”
“It’s exactly what this was.”
“Locke, I care about you—”
“I know you do.” The certainty of it comes out without heat and somehow that’s worse. “I believe that. And it still doesn’t change what you just did. In fact, it kind of makes it worse.”
I open the door.
“Locke.”
“Guess our fun’s over, Livvy. Take care of yourself.”
She pushes out of her chair. “Locke… don’t.”
I ignore her and walk out.
The corridor is quiet and long and I walk the length of it without looking at or talking to anyone. I push through the exterior door into the December cold and stand there with the gray sky overhead, the air biting at my face.
I feel empty. I just handed someone the most important thing I own and then walked away before she could do anything with it.
Chapter 26
Livia
Molly brings wine, Birdie brings chips, and Juno brings a long hug that I fall into when she walks into my apartment.
I had not planned on having all the girls over tonight. I had planned on going to bed and trying to sleep away the horrible day. The mistake I made was in calling Molly on the way home. I needed my bestie after Locke walked out of my office, effectively ending our personal relationship.
Molly mobilized forces and just an hour after I walked in and got into my pajamas with a pint of consolation ice cream, they invaded my space.
We’re now in my living room, glasses of wine in hand and three pairs of concerned eyes on me.
“You’re going to need to start from the beginning,” Birdie says, nodding toward Juno. “I tried to get deets from her, but she won’t say anything.”
“Sorry, my friend,” Juno says. “It’s only Livia’s story to tell.”
While I don’t ever intend to divulge Locke’s confidences, I don’t have a problem with opening up my own. I look to Birdie. “I fell into a relationship with Locke and well… it’s kind of over and my heart hurts.”
“I knew it,” Birdie exclaims, pointing a finger at me. “But tell me everything and then we’ll get to solving the problem.”
I look at the wine in my glass. The rain runs down the window in rivulets, but the apartment is warm and I am surrounded by friends.
“Okay… so it started when I was mandated to work with Locke for his disciplinary problems. To say he was reluctant was an understatement…”
I lay it all out for Birdie, start to finish, and give even more details that Molly and Juno don’t know. The winery, the road trip, the first kiss at my parents’ house after Thanksgiving dinner. The nightclub. His car and that first amazing orgasm, although I do tell that story with euphemisms. I tell them about the way things escalated by degrees and then came to a head in LA when Grant accosted me.