Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“You’re right, you’re a terrible advice giver. Knowing I should do something doesn’t help when I don’t know what I should do.” Music starts to play from behind the curtain and the crowd starts to go wild, screaming, clapping, and trampling the floor. “It’s not like I can just leave New York and my business and move to Star Falls. You wouldn’t even dream about doing that. Would you?”
“Yes, but that’s me. You can do anything you damn well please. If you think you’ll miss her forever, you need to be with her.”
More unhelpful advice from Jack. I need Worth.
“She lives two thousand miles away,” I say.
“Make it happen,” he says simply, like all I have to do is cross Fifth Avenue and she’ll be there, ready and waiting.
“But how?” I ask.
“Fisher, you’ve done hard things your entire life. You’ve been practically estranged from your parents since college. You’ve discovered hundreds of talented artists, set up a successful independent record label that’s signed the biggest artists in the world. Figuring out how you and Juniper can be together isn’t even on your top ten list of the most difficult things you’ve done in your life. Figure it out.”
“I’m in love with her,” I splutter out, and I clutch my chest, not sure if my heart’s still beating.
“I can tell. I’m not an expert when it comes to these things, but I know that losing a woman has never caused me to miss a gym session, let alone given me the miserable face you’ve been wearing for the last few weeks.”
“I keep thinking it’s going to get better, but it keeps getting worse. She’s all I think about. She’s all I want.”
“Then what the hell are you playing at? You know how to go after what you want. Make it happen.”
There’s a smash of drums and the start of the intro to the song Vivian and I wrote together. I can’t take credit for any of the lyrics. But the melody is mine. I produced this one, too. It’s one of the later tracks that only just made it on the album.
I glance over to where I last saw Juniper and Riley, but I still can’t see where they are.
I just don’t want them to leave before I get a chance to speak to them.
FORTY-ONE
Juniper
I haven’t heard a single song Vivian has performed the entire night. She’s just finished her encore, and I swear it feels like it’s her first song.
“She’s so amazing!” Riley shouts beside me.
I grin at her and nod. My daughter’s so happy. Everything feels worth it. The cost of flying here. The hotel. Even seeing Fisher, despite how painful it was. I can’t decide if I wish he hadn’t been here. In some ways it would have been easier. I wouldn’t be able to picture him in New York. His beautiful face wouldn’t be redrawn in my mind.
But it doesn’t make me miss him more. That would be impossible.
“Mommy, I wish we could watch her again tomorrow night.”
“That would be super fun,” I reply. Maybe I would have been able to take it in a little more if I saw it again. All I could think about was Fisher. “But she’s not performing tomorrow night. This is the only show she’s playing in the US this year. You’re a very lucky girl to have gotten to see it.”
“I’m a lucky girl,” she says. “But not just because I got to see Vivian Cross tonight. Because you’re my mommy.”
She flings her arms around me and squeezes me tight, and I kiss her on the head. Being able to bring her here, to see Vivian Cross, to experience New York—it’s been such a complete privilege.
The lights go up in the auditorium, and I deliberately don’t look over to where Fisher was sitting. Seeing him again was bad enough. We don’t need to draw it out.
“Follow them out of the seats, Riley,” I say, nodding toward the people leaving our row. “I’m right behind you.” I follow her out of the opposite end of the row to where we were talking to Fisher. I just want to get Riley into bed and have a few minutes to myself. I need to stop thinking about how unfair life is. Life is good. It gave me Riley. It gave me my ability to paint. It’s beautiful. I’m being selfish for thinking anything else.
“Juniper!” Fisher calls from behind us. I pretend I don’t hear. Prolonging this isn’t going to help anyone. “Juniper!”
Fisher’s behind us, and despite wanting to keep walking, I stop, like my brain isn’t in charge anymore and my body is just doing what it’s told by Fisher.
“Hey, Riley. Hang on a second,” I say.
She turns, and her eyes light up as Fisher comes up behind us. I can feel his presence like you can feel when it’s going to rain. The air shifts and there are connections your brain makes.