Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 74882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
“You better stake your claim then, husband.”
I laugh as I attack her mouth playfully, nipping at her lip and chin. We’re still kissing when I hear Damian’s voice on the speaker.
“Mamis and papis,” he says, tapping the mic with his white fingernail. “Pay attention to moi.”
“Oh, here we go.” I chuckle, shaking my head.
“On this joyous occasion, I thought we’d celebrate with a song…” He flashes a wicked look my way.
“Don’t do it,” I warn under my breath.
“And what better way to celebrate than with a song dedicated to my dear little godchild, Lola. Fairy god-daddy loves you, sweetie pie!”
“No…”
“Lola” by The Kinks starts playing and I’m already backing away.
Damian shakes a finger at me. “Don’t even think about it, mister! This is our song.”
“If I’m going to make an ass out of myself in front of my wife,” I say, grabbing Carson’s arm and pulling him from his chair, “then you get to make one out of yourself in front of Krissy.”
Damian squeals and prances our way, all decked out in a see-through-in-too-many-places pale pink suit. His platform shoes have rhinestones on them. Estefania has matching ones since they are the “besties of honor.” There’s no escaping Damian when he gets on a roll. You just give in and then get out.
“It’s my ultimate gaydream! A hot pilot sandwich!” He starts shaking his ass at me as he hauls Carson to him. “If the wives ever allow you to have a hall pass, totes pick me. I’ll show you how fabulous a triple sword fight can be!”
“I’m trying not to imagine it, but you’ve already planted the seed,” I groan. “Sounds complicated.”
“Oh, sugar lips,” Damian purrs, “it’s really quite simple. One plus one plus one makes—”
“Three?” Carson says at the same time I say, “Nope,” and Damian shrieks, “Magic!”
Carson is cracking up, laughing so hard he can barely stand up right, as Damian does some scandalous moves in front of him. And if it weren’t for Sheridan’s adorable fucking giggles, I would’ve jumped ship and left Carson to deal with this monster princess alone. But, since my wife is wildly entertained, I take one for the team. Even if that means having a hot pilot sandwich dance.
“Should I get a pilot uniform?” Damian asks, still gyrating in a way that’s making Randall blush furiously nearby. “We could play pilot dress up. Just the three of us. I’ll bring the tequila, boys.”
“Shoo, Dame,” Sher grumbles playfully. “Time to go bother Mateo.”
Mateo is already backing up, holding his hands in the air.
“Oh, sexy Mexi Matexi,” Damian sings. “Time for our dance!”
We all laugh as he prances off after my poor cousin. Kyle has pulled Estefania on the dance floor and is eye-fucking her hard enough I think I might get pregnant. It makes me wonder if that’s how it happened with those two because they don’t quite match up to me. That kid is like Clark Kent. A total nerd, but something about him has the singing princess of Costa Rica head over heels for him. So much so that she let him drag her off to Vegas months ago. Sheridan was too pregnant to be travelling, but my woman wasn’t about to let that stop her from seeing her best friend tie the knot.
“We need to hook Damian up with someone,” Sher says. “Are you sure we can’t convince Mateo to swing that way?”
Mateo is hiding with Doris now. Damian knows if he goes over there, Doris will go mama bear on him and he’ll be stuck talking about crochet patterns. He loves Doris like a mother, but the man was born to be the life of a party. Mateo is smart to figure that shit out quick.
“Probably better luck with Nicolás,” I say, nodding over at my other cousin. “I’ve only ever seen him with chicks, but he’s never watched one like a hawk.”
Sheridan gasps. “Oh my God. He’s totally watching him. We have to set them up on a date.”
“Nope,” I tell her. “Not happening. Damian would corrupt him. We’ll stay out of it. If fate brings them together, then so be it. I won’t be responsible for Damian turning my cousin into a glitter penis loving sex addict.”
She pouts. “But he secretly likes him. It’s so obvious now.”
“Do you know how hard it is to get glitter out of sheets?
“Oh, come on,” she grumbles. “Where’s your sense of adventure? Maybe Nicolás needs a little sparkle in his life.”
Our eyes travel to Damian, who’s stolen Kyle away from Estefania and trying hard to dirty dance with his unwilling assistant. When we glance back at Nicolás, he’s staring at the ground frowning.
“Look!” Sher hisses. “He needs a little push. Go push him. You’re family. It’s what you’re supposed to do.”
“I’ll do it.” She squeals and I lift a brow. “First, we must negotiate.”