Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Then I remembered we’d only been together four months, and my stomach pitched more.
“So… why is she here? If she doesn’t take this seriously, I’m assuming that means she doesn’t really care to advance. What’s her end goal?”
Finn shrugged. “She loves to travel. The money’s good. She thought being on a show would be fun.”
“So she doesn’t really have any ambition?”
Finn’s expression flickered, his shoulders tensing slightly. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, sorry,” I backtracked, suddenly feeling like I’d stepped on a nerve. “I just… you have so much desire, so many dreams. I guess I’m a little surprised you’d be with someone who…”
Finn was watching me closely as the words died on my tongue, his jaw tightening.
“But I guess that’s kind of nice,” I added quickly, forcing a lightness into my voice. “Because I’m sure she supports your dreams. And if she’s not tied down, that means she can follow you wherever you want to go.”
The last words were quieter, the bitter truth of them like an ice pick to my chest.
She would follow him.
Like I didn’t.
A muscle in Finn’s jaw ticced. He was silent for a long moment before he blew out a slow breath. “Actually… Gisella helped me see that the restaurant was a mistake.”
My head snapped toward him, brows furrowing. “What?”
Finn didn’t meet my gaze.
I scoffed, shaking my head. “Please tell me that’s a joke…”
He still wouldn’t look at me, his body tight from the muscle straining his neck all the way down to where his feet were planted in the sand.
“Look, I don’t know what happened, but that restaurant wasn’t a mistake, Finn. It was your dream. I mean, it meant so much to you that you walked away from yachting.”
It meant so much that you walked away from me.
He finally looked at me then, his expression dark, something simmering beneath the surface. “You’re right. You don’t know what happened.”
The accusation in his voice turned me to stone.
“Because you weren’t there.”
My breath stalled in my throat.
The air between us was dry and hot, crackling with everything we had left unsaid for two years. And that betrayal I’d almost forgotten about seeped in like sludge, slowing my heart.
He was right. I didn’t go with him.
Because I didn’t know he would be going in a different direction until the night before we were set to leave.
And he was forgetting to mention a big piece of this puzzle: he didn’t come with me, either.
Now, he was back in yachting with another woman.
Which told me loud and clear that I had never been enough for him.
I let out a hollow laugh, my mouth falling open. “Right. Because I’m a woman, so it’s me who should drop everything to cater to whatever you want, right? Fuck my own aspirations?”
Finn blinked, like he’d been in a spell and my words had snapped him out of it. Regret shaded his gaze. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Save it,” I spat. “We’ve already had this fight, remember? No need to do it again.”
I turned before he could say another word, my pulse roaring in my ears as I grabbed the pitcher of spritzer and headed toward the guests, plastering a smile on my face.
Business as usual.
Even if everything inside me was still burning.
POST-PRODUCTION CONFESSIONAL
CLOSE QUARTERS
SEASON 4
PALMER HUGHES: BOSUN
Palmer watches footage, shakes head, runs hand over jaw.
PRODUCER
That second crew night out was a memorable one, huh?
PALMER
I mean… it didn’t feel like it then. We’d survived a charter being one stew down, the guests were happy, the tip was bigger than the last one… Everyone was drunk, yeah, but that’s what you do on a crew night out. You get wasted and forget about work for a while. It seemed fine at the time.
PRODUCER
And now?
PALMER
I’m surprised none of us saw the flashing neon sign warning us of what was to come.
PRODUCER
Do you think that night was significant, then?
Palmer laughs.
PALMER
I think it was the first crack in the dam, but none of us noticed the pressure building until the flood hit.
“How does it feel to not have your head in a toilet?” I teased Leah, looping my arm through hers in the back of the cab. Drop-off day had gone swimmingly, the guests leaving with big smiles on their faces and big money in our hands. Now, it was time for the crew to let loose and celebrate, and I was ready.
I’d managed to mostly avoid Finn the rest of the charter, acknowledging him only as necessary to get our jobs done. Dinner service was fine, breakfast was exactly as the guests ordered, and now I didn’t have to deal with him professionally until our preference sheet meeting tomorrow.
I needed the break from him most of all.
Of course, he was in the same freaking car with me at the moment, so the break wasn’t exactly all-encompassing.
“Ugh, I am still so mortified.” Leah groaned, burying her head in my chest as I smirked and pet her hair. “Second charter and I go down, leaving you and Bernard to fend for yourselves.”