Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83358 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83358 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I take stock of how I feel after confessing my private feelings. “But I do belong here with him. So, I’m staying. Even if this is hard and feels awkward at times. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. And before I forget… I had a great time tonight, Lucky!”
I watch it once, then hit post before I can talk myself out of it. I even tag Lucky since this is as much about him as it is about me.
I’m not embarrassed at all to share my doubts with him. He’s the one person in this world who understands every bit of it, but I wanted to share it with anyone out there who might be going through some of the same. That’s what I’m known for and I want to stay true to myself.
I refresh the screen and watch the comments roll in.
@pghmomsquad: Girl, you’re doing great. Most of us would’ve fainted just walking into that bar with all those Titans. You’re holding your own and looking fabulous doing it.
@teachertoteacher: Love this vulnerability. You’re reminding so many women that it’s okay to feel out of place and still show up anyway. Rooting for you and Lucky.
@averageisright: You’re literally bragging about being a “normal girl” while dating a celebrity and filming it for clout. Make it make sense.
@notafanofthisarc: Imagine needing a bathroom break because life got too real at a bar with your boyfriend’s coworkers.
@clearlynotaverage: Nice try acting humble, but you tagged him. Again. Almost like you knew exactly what kind of attention this would bring.
My stomach sinks as I read more comments that are unusually negative. I’ve cultivated such a supportive community that this backlash is a shock to my senses. But even I should’ve realized that wouldn’t stay the same. Since Lucky came into my life, I’ve gained a lot of new followers.
And guess what?
They didn’t come for my brand of real talk. They came because they like Lucky’s star power, which is far different from mine.
They are not my demographic.
A feeling washes over me like a cloud of doom darkening the room. For the first time in my TikTok life, I want to delete the video. I thought I had a thick skin. I’ve never cared what people thought of me before. But somewhere deep inside, I’m wondering if these people aren’t on to something. Maybe Lucky and I shouldn’t be together.
There’s a knock and I jolt out of my thoughts. I grab my phone and unlock the door, only to find Mazzy standing there smiling at me.
I’m not sure what she sees on my face, but her head tilts in question. “Are you okay?”
“What?! I mean… yes, I’m totally fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” she says skeptically, pushing me back into the bathroom and locking the door behind us. “Spill the beans.”
I could lie to her, but I’m a truth teller, even if the truth is covered in warts.
Besides, maybe she’ll understand. “It’s overwhelming.”
“The hockey life, right?” She nods sagely. “I get it. I had a hard time adjusting too.”
I look at this woman who is beyond beautiful and who I’ve been told has the voice of an angel. She seems so poised and confident that I have a hard time believing her, but I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Any words of advice? Because right now, I feel like I want to duck in a hole and hide.”
Mazzy frowns as if she’s considering something. “Is it because you two have sort of made this public on social media?”
I think about that and try to ferret out what’s got me so anxious right now. Sure, I was nervous to meet his friends, but they are beyond lovely.
It’s the negative comments that have tipped me over. “Yeah… I guess I wasn’t expecting such cynicism. My entire brand centers around being real, and… people don’t believe me.”
“Haters gonna hate,” she says, empathy in her eyes. “You have to tune that out. It’s part of being with someone famous.”
“Yeah, I know.” I wave my phone. “I guess I don’t have to look at the comments.”
“Have you and Lucky considered not posting about your relationship?”
It’s a good question, and no… we haven’t talked about it. I lift a shoulder. “I guess we should. But the thing is… I feel like I have an obligation to my followers. I started this journey in the public eye and if I were to stop, they would be abandoned. It wouldn’t feel authentic. Besides… we only have two more dates after this, so it’s almost done.”
Mazzy’s eyes widen. “You’re not going to see him anymore after those two dates?”
My eyes bulge and I hold out my hands. “Of course I’m going to continue to see him! I just mean… I don’t think we have to be public about it after those two dates. At least I don’t have to be.”