Total pages in book: 165
Estimated words: 159487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 797(@200wpm)___ 638(@250wpm)___ 532(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 159487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 797(@200wpm)___ 638(@250wpm)___ 532(@300wpm)
He had agreed to Cherubin Three because of Cassie. That was what he would keep telling himself. Cassie needed him. Cassie was suffering. Cassie was his mate in his heart, and he would give her his seed, his body, his protection, and anything else she needed to get through this nightmare.
If that meant sharing her with Sev for the cure, he would do it.
If that meant touching Sev, maybe even letting Sev touch him, he would do that too. He had said as much because Cassie had been crying and because he would have promised anything to stop the pain in her voice.
But afterward, he was leaving—he had to. Because if he stayed, he would want to stay forever.
The thought hit him like a ton of rocks dropped on his chest, crushing his heart until he couldn’t breathe.
No, that wasn’t right. That wasn’t what he meant, he tried to tell himself. He didn’t want forever with Sev and Cassie—he only wanted Cassie. He wanted to keep her safe, to hold her close, to make her laugh and taste her honey and fill her with his seed, and hear her call him ‘big guy’ in that soft, sweet voice of hers that he could feel all the way down in his balls when she talked.
But if Cassie turned to Sev too…if Sev held her from behind while Ravik kissed her… Or if Sev’s hand came to rest on Ravik’s hip—not by accident this time, not because of ale or infection or medical necessity…
Ravik’s body tightened all over as he imagined touching them both…and being touched by both of them.
He fucking hated himself for it.
A soft tone chimed from the quarantine door, and one of the medical assistants in protective gear appeared on the other side of the clear panel.
“Commander Ravik?” the woman said carefully. “Commander Sylvan has authorized transport preparations to Cherubin Three. We’ll need to take one final blood sample and confirm your consent to travel.”
Consent—right, he’d consented all right—to all of it. He was doing all of this of his own free will. So why did he feel so raw inside?
He lifted his head and looked toward the barrier where Cassie and Sev were still talking quietly on opposite sides of the clear wall. Cassie’s eyes were red from crying and Sev looked pale and tired, his broken oculars replaced by a temporary visor that did nothing to hide the hurt in his face.
Ravik had put some of that hurt there—maybe most of it.
He stood slowly.
“I consent to travel,” he said, his voice rough. “I consent to help Cassie make the vaccine.”
The med tech nodded.
“And Commander Severin?”
Ravik’s jaw clenched.
Across the room, Sev looked over at him and for a moment, their eyes met.
Ravik wanted to look away but he didn’t. He forced himself to hold that pale blue gaze and say the next words, even though he could barely get them out.
“I consent to work with Sev,” he said. “For the duration of the treatment.”
Sev’s face changed. Not much—not enough that anyone else would have noticed, probably. But Ravik knew him. He saw the flicker of pain and hope and resignation, all tangled together in his best friend’s pale blue eyes.
For the duration of the treatment—that was the line Ravik had drawn and he was determined not to cross it.
The assistant entered the note into her tablet and moved toward him with the blood collection kit. Ravik offered his arm without looking away from Sev. The needle pierced his skin, but he barely felt it—he had survived worse.
He would survive Cherubin Three, as well, he told himself. He would survive sharing Cassie. He would survive whatever strange, humiliating, impossible things the cure demanded of him and Sev.
Then he would leave before wanting became needing…before needing became Bonding.
Before he looked at his best friend and admitted the one truth he had been running from since the night with the Tenebrian woman—the truth he still couldn’t even let himself think, let alone say our loud.
He wanted Sev like he wanted Cassie. He wanted them both together as badly as he wanted his next breath.
And that was exactly why he had to go.
53
CASSIE
Cassie settled back against the cushioned seat of the long-range shuttle that was going to take them to Cherubin Three. It was a quarantine shuttle, meaning the front part where the pilot sat was sealed off by a dark smoked glass panel. She could barely even see his head through the small window.
She didn’t care about that though—finally, after days of quarantine, she had her guys back. Severin was sitting on her right and Ravik was on her left. Just breathing in their scents was already making her feel better and feeling their body heat on either side of her calmed her nervous system which had been on high alert the whole time she had been separated from them.