Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
“I know.”
“Then why do you look like someone died?”
“Because they kind of did.” She gives my hand a squeeze. Tristan and I can’t have any kind of relationship. Perhaps in twenty years, when I have a family of my own, my infatuation with him will have faded. Right?
“You thought he’d chase.” It’s not a question. She’s got my number when it comes to Tristan.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” I can’t help but wonder what he’s up to. Is it back to normal for him? How his life was before I was tossed into his lap. Is he spending more time with Sasha now that I’m gone? That thought sours my mood.
Teddy exchanges a look with Killian, who’s standing by the coffee maker. They’ve been doing that. The silent conversations, the worried glances. I feel like a ghost haunting their happiness.
“Killian,” I say, so that I can ask a question I’ve been dying to but wouldn’t allow myself. The name Tristan isn’t often said in this house. They’ve been avoiding it as much as I have. “What do you know about Tristan? Where is he? What’s he doing?”
The silence stretches. Killian sets down his coffee cup. “You want to know this?”
“I’m just curious.” I shrug. “There is a lot I don’t know about him, it seems.” I thought like his own father, he was simply a tech genius. That’s why he works with the FBI from time to time. He has skills they can use. I never asked because you’re not supposed to ask those things. I knew that my father was the head of the FBI at one time. “He always said he would find me. That there was nowhere I could hide. And he just... hasn’t.”
Teddy’s expression softens. “Oh, Lily.”
“It’s fine.” I push back from the table; the urge to flee is strong. I’m developing a pattern. “Don’t look at me like that. I got what I wanted. I just want to know why he stopped.”
Killian’s eyes are careful, assessing. “I know things, and I could always find out more, but if I poke, there is a chance he pops up. Tristan is good at what he does, freakily so,” he says finally. “But you might not like the answer.”
“Try me.”
“Yeah, try her. Find the good stuff too, like he hates cats,” Teddy says. Minnie, Teddy’s lynx, lifts her head and lets out a loud huff. “And tips terribly. He probably doesn’t use turn signals when he drives, and he sends thumbs-up emojis. Oh, better yet, does he clip his cellphone to his belt? Got one of those earpiece things too, or oh God, does he answer the phone on speaker? I’m not sure which is worse.” Teddy shakes her head like those are crimes worse than murder, her husband’s favorite pastime.
“I can tell you what I know offhand. As you already know, he works with more than the FBI,” Killian says, leaning against the counter. “Military contracts, black sites, things that don’t officially exist. The man doesn’t just find people. He builds the equipment that finds them.”
I stare at him. “What do you mean?”
“Drones, scanners, predictive programs. You send one of his drones into an area, it maps everything: heat signatures, movement patterns, and structural weak points. He inputs the data somewhere; I don’t know if it’s in his head or a computer, but he predicts outcomes. Strike or don’t strike. Risk versus reward. Lives saved versus lives taken.” Killian pauses, and I know I might not care for the next part. “It’s saved a lot of lives on our side. Taken more on the other. I’m not the only one with blood on my hands. I’m just more personal when I do it.”
“This is true. He can snap a neck,” Teddy adds, demonstrating with her hands. “Like, snap.” She jerks her arms and nearly topples off her seat.
Killian lunges forward, catching her before she falls. “Careful, Zolotse,” he murmurs, steadying her with his hands on her waist.
“I’m fine,” she laughs, but she’s glowing, leaning into his touch.
I watch them. The easy intimacy, the way he fusses over her—when you see Killian, you’d never think he’d be a person to fuss over anyone or anything.
I want it so badly it’s like a physical ache.
I want someone to catch me before I fall. Someone to look at me like I’m the only thing in the room. I want Tristan. You don’t know Tristan.
The thought arrives fully formed, unwelcome and undeniable.
“What do they say?” Teddy asks like we have a clue where she might be going with this. “To get over someone, you get under someone else.”
“What someone else?” Killian demands to know before the words are fully out of Teddy’s mouth.
“Not me.”
“I’ll kill someone else.”
“I know you will.” She pats his chest like he’s harmless. “I was thinking, what if we do a dating app?”