Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 164910 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 825(@200wpm)___ 660(@250wpm)___ 550(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164910 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 825(@200wpm)___ 660(@250wpm)___ 550(@300wpm)
28
Dallas
Three days later, and there’s been no word from him. Not that I would be the first to know. My phone died Friday night, and I was too drunk all weekend to charge it until I passed out seven hours ago. Someone plugged it in next to my bed, my alarm waking me for work at six.
What do I do? I’m honestly surprised I haven’t taken off for New Mexico or South Dakota yet—finally free to pursue my own life. I was never useful, and I never gave a shit, but I tried.
I’m not going to save them from this. I think it’s been proven that I fail. Best thing I can do is get out of their way.
People have left me alone, though. No one tried to talk to me this weekend as I crashed at the pub Friday night and spent Saturday and Sunday either at the bar in the Bay or on the beach with a bottle.
What would I do if I were my father?
I’d keep killing myself just to make ends meet.
What if I were my mother?
I’d stay in my room until even that view drove me crazy.
And if I were Macon?
I’d find a way to persevere.
I’m not them, though, and I’m not even ashamed that I want to run. I’ve never had any honor in me, and if I did, what good would it serve? Macon, Army, Liv…they’re all better people, and I never want them to hurt. But there’s just not the love in me like it is in them.
Who knows? Maybe even one of my brothers will be in the ground in the next ten years, too, and I’ll be glad I got out when I could.
I’ve always had the wrong motivations, and I’ve really done it this time. No one trusts me for anything anymore.
And I can’t walk into that school every day and run into him, see him start building a future that begins with a lavish wedding, and stand by while he erases us like none of it was real.
I sit on the stairs in my quiet house, everyone still asleep as I stare at the crack in the red-tiled step below me. Krisjen wouldn’t let Macon fix it. A reminder, she said, of the life that’s been in this house. A testament to the history and our story.
All I see is the same splinter in the clay I stepped on that day when I decided to not go see if my mother was okay.
The first day I really understood that I wasn’t anything like her. I could survive myself.
And that kind of behavior won’t do anyone any good.
Do I care about things? Yeah. I want good things for people who deserve it, and that includes Macon, Liv, Trace, and Iron. And yeah, sure, Army. Maybe leaving would free up some space in the house. He’d be able to breathe easier.
All he ever wanted was a woman, and he gets harder to deal with every year that he’s alone. He thinks he’s going to fall in love just because she’s pretty. Or nice to him. Or will look good in a family picture with their children.
It’s not like that, though. You fall in love with the one person who can turn you inside out, and there’s no control over it.
I feel my phone vibrate in my hand before it rings. Glancing at the screen, I see Anna-Katherine’s name.
I hesitate. Callum wouldn’t use her to get my attention, would he?
I nip the thought in the bud, though. It was thinking like that that caused my mistakes. I’m nothing to him. He probably hasn’t thought about me since Friday other than to laugh and plan how he’s going to spend our money.
Swiping, I tap the speaker. “Hello?”
“Dallas?” she says, sounding excited. “They’re canceling school for the storm this week. Can I still go in today and work on the windows?”
I exhale, thankful she seems unaware of what happened this weekend.
“Yeah.” I nod as if she can see it. “Of course.”
“Will you come?” she asks. “I’m worried about being alone.”
And just like that, everything tenses again. I wasn’t planning on ever walking into that school again. Why is she nervous, though?
Standing up, I descend the rest of the stairs and walk to the kitchen. “Where’s your brother?”
“He’ll be around, but he has meetings.”
Yeah, I’ll bet he does. He has to get his own appraisal for the treasure, talk to lawyers, arrange security…He’s probably already meeting with architects and contractors. He doesn’t need investors anymore if he wants to build a hotel here. He can own it outright.
I fill a travel mug with coffee and screw on the cap.
She’s the only one I need to say goodbye to. My family will understand, and everyone else can go fuck themselves.
“See you soon,” I tell her.
Dex jumps down from his bunk bed upstairs, his daily pounce recognizable, and I grab my leather bag, hooking it over my head. I’m in jeans and a T-shirt, but even if school was in session today, I wouldn’t give a shit.