Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 69875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
“I understand.”
“It’s a chance now to ask her, to find out about her,” Rebel tells me. “Ask her all the things that are running through yer head right now. It’s easier, and best to be open, honest. Once you do that, you can hopefully move on sooner.”
It’s the first time since I came here that he’s spoken more than a few words to me, and I offer him a smile. “Thank you.” All three men stare at me for a long, silent moment. I don’t know what else to say to them, because I don’t even know what I want to say. There are no words.
So, we sit in silence until we reach the airstrip. We exit the vehicle and make our way to the plane. Inside, I sit next to Monster who’s already got a drink in his hand. I watch as he sips the strong smelling, amber liquid. It’s the same as it’s always been with him, I can’t stop staring. He’s breathtakingly gorgeous. Having him beside me has a calming effect, but I know it won’t last long.
I lean back and close my eyes as we take off, and I recall the trips Mum took me on. We flew all over the world. There wasn’t a city we didn’t enjoy visiting. When she worked, I was studying. But our free time was always spent together. She made sure I was happy. Granted, she bought me things I wanted, but I wasn’t spoiled. I would do chores around the house for the items, and I earned my way.
“What are you thinkin’?” Cathal asks me as he leans closer so the others don’t hear.
I turn to look at him and smile. “Just thinking about trips I took as a child. Growing up, I went to most cities in Europe, and we went to New Zealand and Australia a few times.”
“Ever been to the States?”
“Yeah,” I answer with a nod. “A couple of times. But my mother focused mainly on Europe.” It’s baffling to think all those times she was running a criminal organisation. She was the head of the mob, not just some foot soldier. The thought of it makes me shiver.
“Cold?”
“No.” I shake my head. Instead of torturing myself with memories, I close my eyes and try to get some sleep. Soon enough, we’ll be in London, and everything that’s happened over the past few weeks is going to come to a head. And I have to be ready.
By the time we land, I’m awake again. It was a short but very welcome nap. It’s dark out when we disembark, and Cathal greets someone who tells us there’s still a few hours before my mother’s flight arrives. I really want to go back to my London home and get some of my things, but I also can’t leave them here.
I doubt he’ll even allow me to go. Cathal made it clear what we are here to do, and if I run off, he may think I’m trying to escape. I’ve never been a prisoner at the clubhouse, but there was an understanding I had to stay there so they could look after me.
So far, I’m still alive. That’s a good thing. We move into the hangar where there are a few cots set up for us to sleep on. I’m exhausted, but the moment I lie down, I’m wide awake. My mind won’t shut off. Even when I force myself to close my eyes and block out the light and noise, it doesn’t help.
I toss and turn a few times before I hear a squeak on the smooth concrete. Cathal drags his cot over to mine, then he lies down on his mattress and stares up at the roof of the enormous building.
He doesn’t speak for a long time, and I’m sure he’s fallen asleep. But then he says, “When my ma died, I sat with her body bleeding out in the road. I cried that day. Since then, I haven’t shed a tear. She was the only person in my life that I loved. I didn’t even consider myself worthy of living when she wasn’t.”
His sadness seeps into my chest and makes it hard to breathe. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m not sure why he’s telling me this, but I allow the silence to offer a calm for him.
“She was a good woman.” He turns his head to me. “Ye know? Like, deep down, her soul was pure.”
When I look at him, I see the love in his eyes. He clearly still feels the pain of her loss. It’s been years since she was killed, and yet, the teenage boy who lost his mum is still so evident in the man next to me.
“There aren’t many people like that left in the world,” I finally speak. “I thought for a long time I was good. I thought my mother was good. It seems I was mistaken.”