Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Rowleigh doesn’t have anyone there to bring him soup or ice cream cake. He has no one to give him a hug or hold him to help him feel better. My chest closes up, and even though I’m achy all over from this cold, this ache is different.
I want to be close to him.
I want to help him feel better.
I want to do the small things that no one has likely done for him in a very long time.
He’s rich, and rich people can take care of themselves. They can buy the best care, best doctors, best whatever. He could have someone come to his house to cater to his every need.
But the thing is, I know he wouldn’t.
He’d get through it alone, and he’d come out the other side of it eventually. Probably like he’s done ever since he and Marlene divorced. He’s never trusted someone to take care of his heart. He was busy. He’s still busy. He hasn’t taken the time to slow down and feel because feeling sucks. He was probably tired of hurting.
But he took a chance with me.
He kissed me.
He told me I was great.
I should have told him that he’s also great. I mean, I kind of did at the gazebo during that storm, but I should have made sure he’d heard me, good and proper.
“Where’s this bear devil child you got from the barn? Dad told me about it. I can’t wait to see it!”
I point across the room to the bookshelf in the living room. It’s mostly full of books, but I made a space to display the bear.
“Ahhhhhh, yes! I love it! Yes, today, spawn of Satan, yes! You’ll be a great mother to the little demon. It looks like a regurgitated hairball that someone glued teeth and eyes to after they dehydrated it. It’s terrible. So good. So, so freaking good. You’re a queen for finding it and giving it a loving home.”
“Thank freaking farge my mom didn’t see it. She would have shit bricks and then had to go to the hospital for a different reason.”
“I concur. Shitting bricks is bad for the rectum.”
We looked at each other for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. I immediately dash for some tissues in case I have a coughing fit, start sneezing, or laugh so hard that I blow a booger out.
“I think it’s in the blow-dried cows’ cuteness territory in a very haunting way.”
“I love it. The old couple who owned that farm refused to take any money for it. They didn’t even remember there was a trunk of old toys in there, nor did they know who it belonged to. They’ve had several families store things in there over the decades when they’ve moved, and some never came back for it.”
“What did my dad get?”
“An old car grill. It’s very cool. He said he’d put it up on the wall in his mancave.”
Mika frowns. “I’ve never even been to his house. His old one, yes, but not this one. I’m a bad daughter.”
I rush to her and hug her tight. She hugs me back, even if I’m germy. “You’re not a bad daughter,” I tell her neck. “Your dad told me that he has so many regrets. He truly wishes he would have fought harder for you. He thought he’d mess you up if he tried. He didn’t want you to live in a family that was torn apart by constant fighting and bitterness.”
“My mom’s a good mom, but she was never kind about him or to him. I know that. I’ve known it since I was a kid and saw how my other friends’ parents behaved. I’ve never hated him or been angry with him. I just didn’t know how to connect with him.”
“He’s lost that way, but he wants to be found so freaking bad. I think a huge part of his heartbreak wasn’t just your mom. It was losing his family. I know your dad’s a good man with genuine regret and love in his heart because he’s nothing like my parents. He had more love for you in a single expression than I’ve known from my parents my whole life.”
“I’m sorry they suck, babes. For real. Let’s get you feeling better, and we’ll redo this place. We’ll Bellatrix it.”
“I have no idea what that even means. I don’t know what my style is. I’m not brave like you.”
Mika scoffs. She holds me back and shakes her head, making her new orange bangs bounce across her pale skin. “You don’t have to be brave like me. You just have to do you. We’ll find you together. Take a few days. While you’re still feeling like garbage and have no energy, go through some design photos and see if there’s anything you like. Take screenshots and make a folder. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. A big part of any place is the décor, but voila!” She snaps her fingers and points at the giant box. “You have a way to make your own now. Plus, there’s always thrift stores, apps, and online stores. We can have a paint night right here on canvas. Sip wine, make bad art. It sounds like a great time.”