Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“Hard to watch his elbows. If we take our eyes off the puck, he’s already past us.”
“You’ll get a read on him. Promise. He doesn’t like to go to the goal without Engler in the vicinity. Those two are almost conjoined twins. Watch their tapes and focus on them. New York has its own rivalry with Boston so I got good at reading both of them. Engler will always look for Connors before he’ll cross the blue line, but Connors won’t shoot on goal unless Engler is on the other side ready for the rebound.”
For the rest of the night, we watched and everyone made a sound when they started noticing the pattern. Bruge’s spaghetti was delicious, but I needed this time with the team.
I was one of them.
It clicked for me tonight.
I was a Gray Wolf.
31
RAIN
Iknew that knock was coming before it came.
It was another night. The first before the week that everything inside of me was going to get overhauled. I was already unsteady when I opened the door and Tyler shoved in. It was late. They had an afternoon game today, but he sent a text saying he was heading to Bruge’s to watch Boston’s game.
The mention of my brother made me want to upheave the little I’d eaten today.
“Damn. You look good.” There was no food in his hands and he crowded against me, kicking the door shut behind him. He was here for sex and that was first and foremost on his mind. My stomach dipped as his hands went to my hips, sliding under my shirt.
But, no.
I couldn’t do this. Not tonight.
I needed all my reserves to handle the next week, knowing Dane would be in town.
I held up a hand to his chest and moved back, giving me some space. My heart leapt, then it sank because I couldn’t do this.
God…
I was about to break my own heart, but no.
Enough was enough.
“Tyler.”
He stopped. “What? What is it?”
We’d gone too far.
I couldn’t go further. He needed to know who exactly I was.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell him?
Maybe he wouldn’t react the way I always assumed he would, with hatred and loathing? Maybe he’d be like Coach Hines, just a quiet understanding. But I knew I was deluding myself. I wanted to believe I could still have him, but he’d look at me with such disdain.
And my job… I’d already gone too far. My career was over if this got out. And then what would I have? Nothing.
My chest grew tight as my throat closed off, but I had to tell him. It was the right thing. I moved his hands back to his sides. He watched as I pushed him back, creating more space between us.
“We can’t do this.”
His gaze clouded over. “What? Why not?”
“I…” It hurt to talk.
Was I really going to do this? Tell him? Give my enemy who didn’t know he was my enemy the ammunition against me? But he hadn’t felt like my enemy this whole time.
No. He had to know.
“You don’t want me?”
Pain already began trickling through me. “No,” I said gently. “It’s not that. I—I need to talk to you.”
He moved back in, appeased by my answer. He reached for me, but I ducked out of his hold and stepped aside.
“Tyler—”
“What is this?”
My throat hurt. A knot had settled there. “I have to…” I shook my head, trying to clear the pain away so I could speak. I needed to pull away, dissociate. I needed to numb myself enough to think clearly. “We shouldn’t keep doing this. We both know that, even though we keep doing it. It’s like we can’t stop. I can’t stop.”
My throat swelled up.
He was so still. “It’s reciprocated, you know. We’ve not had a conversation, but I’m coming over here for a reason. It’s not just for sex.”
“I know, but…” My voice was failing me. I pushed through it. “But if you want to keep doing this, I have to tell you something. It’s not right if I don’t.”
“I don’t care.”
“Tyler,” I tried again, my voice hitching.
“I don’t. I just—” He stepped toward me again but stopped when I jumped.
I bit my lip. I had reacted that way because of how fast he’d moved, not because it was him. Everything in me wanted to just shut up, to let him touch me, kiss me, and deal with the consequences tomorrow. But I couldn’t. It felt like violating his trust.
He cursed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I didn’t come here with the intention of making you scared of me. Fuck. I’m making a mess of all of this.”
He closed his eyes and sank into one of the chairs.
Tentatively, I went to the couch and sat across from him.
“Okay. I’m good. I’ll restrain myself.” He grinned crookedly. “I’ll be a good boy, just this one time.” He motioned to me. “Go ahead. I’m all ears, but I came here for another reason. Besides sex and movies. And cuddling.”