Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 101466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 507(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 507(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
The looks on their faces when Casey spoke, her words cutting but honest, were priceless. I had wanted to simply walk away since I had nothing to say to them. They knew where I lived, and if they had wanted to reach out at any time, they could have. But Ryan, being Ryan, couldn’t let the chance pass to get in a dig or two.
He hadn’t planned on having his ass handed to him by the woman who stood beside me.
Miller got up from where he slept in his bed by the window and turned around. Barney lifted his head and waited as Miller curled back up, then made himself comfortable and settled back to sleep. The two of them were amusing to watch. I never thought my dog would have a cat for a best friend and would sleep with him every night.
I glanced down at Casey. I never thought my pain-in-the-ass tenant would be sleeping in my bed beside me. It was a very domesticated routine we had going. We ate together most of the time. She slept here almost every night. Her toothbrush hung beside mine in the bathroom. Some of her clothing was here. Some of mine was next door.
I thought of the future. How long this would go on for. I was startled to realize I hoped it would be forever. I could see a day when this was our life. Together. When the wall between us was gone and the house was ours, not mine. This room belonged to both of us.
My heartbeat picked up as reality hit me. I was falling in love with Casey. Something I swore I would never do again. I had vowed I would never allow someone—anyone—to have that power over me once more. The ability to hurt me. Yet with Casey, it had just happened. Her warmth had seeped under my skin and into my heart, kicking down the walls I had erected. She had done it without even trying.
Her smiles, her teasing, her onion gravy. All of it. She never demanded. She barely asked for anything. She was constantly doing little things that made my life better. She could make a bad day good again simply by being close. She took my grumpiness and surly behavior and rolled with it. She never told me to change—she let me be me.
And the me lately was different from the me she first met. People had noticed it. I had started to notice it. Things that annoyed me before no longer did. I started finding the joy in life again.
All because of her.
I blinked as the truth hit me. I wasn’t falling in love with her.
I did love her.
I sighed as I pressed a kiss to her brow.
“I love you,” I whispered, trying out the words—ones I never thought I would say again.
She didn’t stir, sleeping soundly. But the words felt right. Real. They rolled off my tongue easily.
Could she love me back? She cared—I knew that. And we were great together. We fit so well. Could she move past her fear and admit what she felt was love as well?
I had to get her to try.
I didn’t want to lose her. I wasn’t sure I would recover this time.
CASEY
It took everything in me not to react. I had been awake for a while, knowing he was awake as well. I’d thought he was brooding over the run-in with his family.
It was much worse.
He was imagining himself in love with me.
I forced myself to remain where I was, keeping my body relaxed even as my mind raced.
I didn’t want this.
I would be gone in a few months, moving on to my next adventure. That was how I lived my life. How I had been taught to live. I didn’t want to change it. Love was nothing but hurt. Love made you do stupid things.
And the life it created was fraught with fears.
I tried to imagine being here with Jesse. Staying with him. What would happen when the newness wore off? When everything I did no longer amused but annoyed him? When he decided he no longer loved me? Or even worse, he realized he never had?
If we did try, I knew he wanted children. I had no idea how to be a mother. Mine hadn’t been a good example. What if I was like her? What if I allowed myself to love Jesse—would I put everything and everyone below the love I had for him? Would I love him more than a child we had together and put his wants and needs before anything and everything else? Including my own well-being?
I couldn’t risk it.
Jesse was asleep now, his breathing deep and even. I glanced up at his face, relaxed in slumber. I cared about him. I enjoyed his company. I found his grumpiness amusing. His protectiveness was sexy. But I didn’t love him.