Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 30858 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 154(@200wpm)___ 123(@250wpm)___ 103(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30858 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 154(@200wpm)___ 123(@250wpm)___ 103(@300wpm)
He was smiling a bit too much for my liking.
“Well?” My mom jumped down from the bear and picked up a tray of food from… somewhere. “Are you going to join us for some holiday cheer?”
“Sure.” Jenna nodded and made her way over, with Mr. Reaves following.
I held back a sigh and took off my shoes.
Joining them around the food—multiple pies, casseroles, and some type of meat I definitely wasn’t touching—I allowed one of the guys to give me a towel to sit on.
I took out my phone to check my email, but they suddenly started saying, “Oh nooo, oh nooo,” in unison.
“What the hell is going on with you all?” I asked.
“No phones are allowed in here.” My mom shook her head. “The internet is evil, and so are most of the ingredients that make up our cell phones.”
“The ingredients?”
“Yeah, man,” Grizzly Man said. “All that plastic, metal, and the cobalt from the mines. It gets into your mind, your system, and before you know it, you’re a walking robot.”
“Yeah, I believe I read that somewhere.” Mr. Reaves nodded. “You are what you use.”
“Exactlyyyy,” Grizzly Man agreed.
“Material possessions are for the weak.” My mom lit a candle. “Humans lived for years without the modern-day conveniences we have now, and I’m so grateful to have found this new way of living.”
“Mom, I hate to break it to you, but this new way of living is a cult.”
“Shhhh!” She shook her head. “The c-word isn’t allowed here.”
I’m definitely calling your psychiatrist…
“The only c-word that is allowed here is celestial,” she said, pointing to the men. “These are your celestial dads.”
No, the hell they’re not…
“They came to me just when I needed companionship and taught me about all the ways my soul and body can be pleasured beyond the realm of grief.”
“I don’t want to hear about your sex life, Mother.”
“This isn’t about sex. It’s about so much more than that…” She waved her hand, confirming that this was definitely a cult. “It’s about being, and one day, whenever you realize that life is more than money and business, you’ll see it, too.”
Jenna smiled politely as Celestial Dad #2 widened his legs, looking like he was about to jack off right in front of us; thankfully, it was just a wedgie.
“Jenna brought some of her family’s homemade wine to share.” I just remembered she’d tucked it into her purse before we left her parents’ place. “Do you mind if I get that for us to enjoy?”
“Wine would be perfect,” the three of them spoke together, and I grabbed Jenna’s hand, pulling her off the sand and back to the front door with me.
“It’s, uh—it’s on the right side of my purse,” she said when we were alone.
“Noted.” I grabbed it and whispered, “Do you mind if we skip dinner and get the fuck out of here?”
“That’s up to you,” she said. “It’s your family.”
“Be honest,” I said. “On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, how badly do you want to leave?”
“Twenty.”
“I thought so.”
“Fake a coughing spell in fifteen minutes,” I said. “One of the good ones, not the half-ass one you do at work to get away from me.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
“Have you two ever realized how in sync your bodies are?” Celestial Dad #1 asked from the doorway. “I bet you two have out-of-this-world sex, huh?”
“Make it five minutes,” Nicholas whispered harshly. “Please…”
13B
JENNA
“Remember, hon.” Nicholas’s mom slid one of her polyamory cards into my coat pocket as we stood near the front door. “Don’t let my son convince you that you have to stick to one person for the rest of your life.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, still whispering. “I was madly in love with his father, and I wish we got to have forever together, but… I wouldn’t dare inflict the years of loneliness and pain on anyone else.”
“I…” I bit my lip. That was better than saying anything.
“You have to let your heart and your pussy breathe.” She patted my shoulder. “Now, make sure he shares a bit of his inheritance money with you, because I’m sure that’s the only reason he’s getting married.”
“I’m getting married because I’m in love with Jenna.” Nicholas was suddenly behind us. “Nice try, though.”
The words sounded truthful coming out of his mouth, but I spotted Mr. Reaves sipping a cup of tea nearby.
Of course…
“Okay, well—” She hugged him closely. “She has to love you back to be able to put up with you for longer than a week, because the millions wouldn’t be enough for me.”
“I love you, too, Mom.”
“Love you, son.”
“We love you as well, son!”
“Yeah, love you, Nicholas!”
“I love you, son!”
His dads—stepdads—celestial soulmates?—shouted from inside.
He ignored them without so much as a glance.
Instead, he slipped his arm in mine and walked me to the car without looking back.