Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 50815 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50815 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
“Okay, and from what I understand, Bonded mates, which is what we are now, are supposed to be able to hear each others’ thoughts.”
“Also true.” He nodded again.
“But I can’t hear your thoughts because of this barrier between us. Did you put it there?” she asked.
Xarex shifted on the couch.
“Yes,” he admitted. “I did. As to why I did it, it was because I felt that maybe we should go our separate ways.” It was difficult to force the words out, but he had to say them.
“Why?” Nora leaned forward, looking at him with hurt eyes. “I know we signed a contract that said we’d split after Anna was cured—which she is, thank God—but I thought maybe…maybe there was something else between us. I thought you might want to stay together.” She shook her head. “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe now that you’ve had me, you don’t want me anymore.”
Xarex couldn’t keep the calm expression on his face any longer.
“Is that what you think of me?” he demanded. “You think I’d discard you as soon as I got what I wanted sexually?”
“A lot of human guys would do that,” she said candidly. “A lot of them just want sex with no emotional commitments.”
“That’s not how I feel at all,” Xarex told her. “I would never leave you after you gave yourself to me. That isn’t why we need to ‘break up’ as you humans say.”
“I don’t understand…” She twisted her fingers together in her lap. “Is it…is it because of Anna? Because you don’t want to raise someone else’s child?” she asked quietly. “If that’s it, then fine. Anna and I are a package deal—I won’t leave her to be with a man—not even one I’ve really started to…to care about,” she ended, lifting her chin defiantly.
Xarex felt like his heart was being put through a meat grinder.
“Do you really think so little of me?” he asked hoarsely. “That I would want to leave you because you have a young one? I like Anna. When she put her little arms around my neck and asked me to be her ‘Daddy’ I felt emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of.”
Nora shook her head.
“Then I don’t understand. Why do you want to break up when we’re already Bonded?”
Xarex saw there was no other way—he was going to have to tell her the truth.
“Because I don’t deserve you,” he said harshly. “Not after the way I acted on Primus Nine.”
“You mean the, uh, sex show we had to put on?” Her cheeks got pink but she kept her chin up and her eyes locked with his.
“Yes.” Xarex ran a hand through his hair. “I took you too roughly and I knotted you and filled you with my seed, even when you begged me not to.” He looked away. “I let the W’rx side of me take total control. I’m no better than a Broken One.”
Instead of getting upset, Nora looked relieved.
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere!” she exclaimed. “Was I upset when you wouldn’t stop? Yes. But also it was the hottest and most intense sex of my life.”
“But I hurt you!” he protested. “When I saw you restrained like that, tied down and helpless, I couldn’t stop myself!” He shook his head. “I can’t be trusted to love you the way you deserve, Nora.”
“You’re forgetting something.” Her voice was gentle and she leaned forward again and put one small hand on his knee. “That drink they gave us—the weird cinnamon-tasting liquid, remember?”
“Yes…” Xarex looked at her warily.
“Well, I think it must have been some kind of aphrodisiac,” Nora told him. “Because it certainly had an effect on me. Didn’t you feel it, too?”
“I did.” Xarex frowned stubbornly. “But it’s still no excuse for the way I used you.”
She blew out a breath and the exasperated expression came back to her face.
“Look, I asked you to help me get the Flower of Healing for Anna and you did. What we did was the only way to get it—I don’t think it would have let itself be picked for anything less than the most intense emotional output which is what we gave it—both of us.”
“But what if we stay together and it happens every time I take you? What if my W’rx half takes over and I hurt you?” Xarex couldn’t keep the fear and longing out of his voice. He wanted her so badly…but still feared he didn’t deserve her.
“I don’t believe you’d hurt me.” Nora knelt on the couch cushion and cupped his cheek in her soft little palm. “Even when things got a little out of control yesterday, you didn’t actually harm me. Things just got…intense.”
Xarex felt torn.
“But if you bind yourself to me, you’ll be binding yourself to the darkness inside me,” he pointed out. “Unless I go and get my emotion damper replaced, you’ll always have to deal with the W’rx half of me.”