Once Upon a Grump Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Contemporary, Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91480 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
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“Well, if I was into social media I’d take a picture of you and do some kind of hashtag goals thing,” I said.

Harper smiled in the direction of Greyson, who was scooping up two hotdogs in one hand and trying to get a bite of both while holding the baby in his other hand. There was so much affection in her eyes as she watched them that I almost couldn’t take it.

Was I ever going to find a guy I’d look at like that?

Three women appeared and started talking to Harper almost like I wasn’t there. I missed most of the conversation because it was a flurry of noise, but I picked up the names Gabby, Farrah, and Lin. Lin–the one with dark hair and upturned eyes, showed a weirdly photoshopped picture of an attractive guy’s head stuck on a baby’s body while it was riding a pig. The women all laughed, then Harper saved me the awkwardness and explained.

“It’s Kenny Mathers. The musician. Lin likes to photoshop him into compromising positions and text it to our group chat.”

“Oh,” I said, smiling. That’s a little weird. “Did you two have some kind of troubled history? Or are you just a fan?”

Lin shot me a look that told me one of my two guesses was wildly offensive. “Kenny Mathers can suck a dick and die.”

The women all tried and failed to hold back smiles as they watched me.

“Oh,” I said again. “Well, the photoshop work is really excellent. It looks like he was born with that baby’s body.”

This seemed to be a better approach and Lin smiled proudly. She turned the phone toward me and pointed behind his head. “His hair was really hard to cut out there. I had to manually paint in some strays to make it look more natural over the background. I also had to blend his neck with the baby’s, which was a lot harder than you’d think.”

I smiled but couldn’t help thinking this level of obsessive hatred seemed a little unhealthy.

I was saved when Paisley, Cassie, and Chase from work all walked up to the town square together. Cassie spotted me and cupped her hands to yell, “Yo, Thorny! Get ova’ here!” She was using a bad fake New Yorker accent for some reason, and the way she was stumbling made me suspect she had pre-gamed a little too hard for this.

“Sorry, it was really nice to meet all of you,” I said. “Can you let Billy and Molly know they can bring Termite to me whenever they’re done? I don’t want them feeling like they are supposed to watch her all night.”

“Oh trust me, they are happy to watch her as long as you’ll let them. You may have to drag that leash out of their hands when you’re ready to go.”

I smiled and waved, leaving the women to go back to laughing at the image on Lin’s phone.

“Making new friends?” Paisley asked when I joined them. They were taking up places around one of a few fire pits that had been set up around the square. Folding lawn chairs were stacked by the buildings and Chase returned with four under his arms. We all unfolded a chair and circled the fire pit.

“That’s the mom of the kids who watch Termite when I’m at work,” I said.

“She seems young,” Chase noted. “Teen pregnancy?”

“Billy and Molly are ten and seven. They’re her stepkids, but that baby is her biological child.”

“Ah, okay,” Chase said. “I’m glad you made it out.” He smiled broadly at me and even reached over to give my forearm a little squeeze.

I blushed, smiling back at him and feeling weirdly guilty about the little moment. Cassie and Paisley shared a look, then watched me with annoying closeness.

Part of me wanted to flirt my ass off with Chase tonight just to get the taste of Mr. Stone out of my system. There was nothing there. Nothing official. I shouldn’t need to feel guilty or weird about liking another guy, if that was what I chose to do. But Mr. Stone’s stupid face kept floating in my brain every time I tried to convince myself it wouldn’t be so bad to date Chase.

We spent the next hour or so talking and laughing. Cassie told us her latest fitness scheme, which involved climbing for two hours a night after work and eating nothing but fish and vegetables–cooked fish, this time. Paisley explained how she’d had the date from hell the previous night because the guy had some weird belief that all electronic devices were mildly toxic. He had insisted that she leave her phone in her car and they’d had to eat on the outdoor patio of the restaurant, freezing their asses off because he wouldn’t let the waitress turn on the electric heater. Chase spent a good while explaining how he had started a band for fun with some guys from work and promised he’d bring CDs for all of us later.


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