Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
She heard clapping and stepped back to see the lovers applauding and smiling for them. Then the two men wrapped their arms around each other’s shoulders and strolled off down the road, renewed by that brief display of love.
Clay drew her to the front stoop of her Victorian and pulled her down beside him. She smelled so damn good. She tasted even better. Better than his memories of everything they’d done together. “I came down on you for what you didn’t tell me, but I played just as big a part in nearly destroying everything between us.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said immediately, taking the blame when Clay knew it lay equally with him.
He squeezed her hand. “You told me all along you wouldn’t reveal San Holo’s identity. I just wouldn’t accept it. But what I’m talking about goes back to my family. I never told you about my parents.” He’d told her Gareth’s history, Dylan’s history, but he’d never talked about his own. “They died when I was a freshman in high school. They were trapped in an avalanche while skiing.”
She stroked his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
He kissed her knuckles in gratitude. “They left behind a lot of debt, and Dane and Ava had to take care of the rest of us.” He smiled, thinking of all they’d done. “But in a way, my brother and sister were like helicopter parents, sacrificing themselves to do everything for us. They did all they could to help us reach our goals. If we hurt, they wanted to fix it. Ultimately, I did the same thing with my artists, needing to fix everything for them. Not that what Dane and Ava did was bad. They were the best, and I’ll always be grateful to them. But I wanted to emulate them. Until you showed me how wrong that was, that I had to let people grow. Ava and Dane, even though they looked out for us, they still let us grow.”
Saskia gazed up at him with all her love in her eyes. “You did the very best for your artists. You weren’t bad for them. You provided workspace, materials, sales support.”
He shook his head gently. “I don’t think what I did was bad. But you taught me a better way, and I’m grateful for that. But let me get back to my parents. Dane and Ava made sure we had everything we needed because our parents never did.” His chest felt suddenly constricted. “Their love was so exclusive that it could contain no one else, not even us. I thought that’s what love was supposed to be like. Exclusive. Consuming. And totally transparent about everything. That’s why I’ve always avoided it. I had so many goals that I couldn’t let love get in the way. Then I met you.”
She looked at him with tears brimming in her eyes. “And I met you.”
“You changed everything,” he whispered and caressed away the single tear that slid down her cheek. “I believed you were supposed to love the way my parents did, giving everything to that other person, holding nothing back. That’s why I was so angry when you didn’t share who you were and everything else about yourself. Because it meant you couldn’t possibly love me.”
She gripped his hand. “But really, that was all about me. Not you.”
Three guys trooped down the street, probably to get breakfast, and she whispered, “We’re making a spectacle out here.”
“We’re not,” he said. “But I wouldn’t care if we were.” Then he told her more. “I was wrong for revering the way they loved. I can see now how unrealistic my parents’ love really was. I actually think it was obsession, and that’s not good. Love needs to be inclusive rather than exclusive. You have to let your family in, especially your kids. You have to let your friends in. You can’t be everything for that other person. It’s impossible.”
Another tear trickled down her cheek. He kissed it away as she whispered, “But I wasn’t inclusive with you at all.”
He clucked his tongue. “What should I have expected? I didn’t tell you about myself either. I would have, but we haven’t even known each other that long.”
She smiled gently. “Long enough to fall in love.”
He cupped her face. “Yes, long enough to fall in love. But not long enough for us to learn everything about each other. I didn’t give you time to do that. I pushed and pushed to find out who San Holo was. That made you nervous. I made it all about what I wanted instead of what you needed.”
She put her fingers to his lips. “I should have trusted you before I slept with you. I did it all backward. But truly, I was going to tell you yesterday before Hugo had that press conference. I had no idea he’d ever do something like that. I’d only just learned he was in town.”