Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Because though The Dark One did hunt me, did rape me, did utter those horrific words to me…
He never touched me with a knife. Once he caught me, all he did was fuck me. He didn’t beat me, bruise me, or leave a scar on me.
And after a while, I no longer heard the threatening words.
Clearly he didn’t mean them. Not about the knife anyway. His penis always went inside me, and though I didn’t consent, he wasn’t huge so it didn’t hurt that much.
I began to covet The Dark One.
My work at the retreat center and with Macy made me realize exactly why. I never had any feelings for him. In fact, through therapy, I grew to resent his power over me. But during the time on the island the jealousy grew from complex emotions from my childhood and even from my adulthood. No one protected me from the monsters under my bed, and when The Dark One chose someone else, the jealousy I felt was a manifestation of guilt. Guilt that someone else was being harmed instead of me. Because of my messed up childhood and my mother’s abuse, my emotions were limited. I never experienced guilt in my life, so I didn’t know what it was.
So I coveted The Dark One.
But now?
Now that I no longer covet him?
He appears to be back.
“I won’t be leaving your side,” Leif says.
I gulp again and nod.
“Do you have any idea who could have sent this?”
I nod again.
He cups my cheeks, gazes into my eyes. “Who, Kelly? Who? Because I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill him.”
My throat is constricted, and I’m not sure my voice will work.
“Who?” Leif says again, this time more gently.
“I think…one of the men from the island.”
“Most of them are in prison,” he says. “Except for the ones who disappeared.”
“They disappeared?” I eke out.
“Yes, unfortunately, some of them did. Those who had enough money to buy a new identity, a new life.”
“Apparently one of them is still around.”
“Who was it, Kelly?”
I attempt to swallow the perpetual lump in my throat. “He was called Mr. Smith. All I can tell you is that he had very dark hair and dark eyes, a light tan.”
Leif sighs. “That could be anyone.”
“How can we make this stop? Whoever it is knows my phone number.”
“We’ll change your number.”
I shake my head, sniffling back tears. “We already did that, and still he found me.”
Leif opens the door for me, and we walk into my apartment.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he says.
“You don’t have to.”
“But you just said—”
“That was before I knew what this text said.”
He rubs his forehead and then his temples. “I can’t, Kelly.”
“Why not?” I raise an eyebrow. “You didn’t have any problem doing it before.”
“You’re right.” He drops his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t. I was wrong to even let it happen. But even if I weren’t breaching my ethics, I sure as hell don’t want to be used.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Leif, I’m not using you.”
He looks back up, meeting my gaze. His blue eyes sear into mine.
“But you are. How can you not see it?”
“And how can you possibly see it that way? You’re a man. I know what men want. I knew before the island, and after the island, I sure as hell know even more.”
“You wait a minute.” He grits his teeth. “You will not link me with those men. I’m nothing like any of them.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it. But you are a man, and men like sex.”
“Yeah. I am a man. And yeah, I do like sex. But I can control myself, Kelly, and I don’t want to be used.”
I scoff. “You seriously think I’m using you for sex?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious. Two minutes ago you agreed that we should stop sleeping together. And now this frightening text comes through, and you want me.”
“Uh…I want you to stay in bed with me. Not on the couch. Did I say I wanted to have sex?”
“Oh my God…” He paces toward the kitchen.
“It’s your job to protect me, isn’t it? You mention it at every turn.”
He turns, walks back toward me. “You and I both know what will happen if I get into bed with you. We’ll fuck. That’s called using a person. I wouldn’t do it to you, and I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t do it to me.”
“You’ve already done it to me, Leif. That’s what sex is for men.”
He mutters something unintelligible. Then, “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”
I huff. “Suit your fucking self.”
I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you tonight.
The Dark One’s eyes are narrowed, almost into slits.
He wears running shorts, running shoes, a white T-shirt, and a white mask that covers most of his face.
I’m wearing a flowing sundress but nothing else. Not even anything for my feet.