Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
I arch, then shatter, clutching his hand like a lifeline while I come apart under him, every muscle a live wire. It takes me a minute to even breathe again.
God damn.
When I open my eyes, he’s watching me, hungry, his entire body tense. I pull him in and kiss him again, slow this time, softer. He tastes like salt and longing and something I can’t even name. He rolls away, lying flat in the sand, the rain pelting down.
I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, but I crawl next to him, nestle my head on his chest, hand resting over his heart. We don’t speak. We just listen to the rain, both of us raw, both of us ruined, both of us needing this like air.
I trace a finger along his collarbone. "Trav?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Sing something."
He hesitates. "Like what?"
"Anything."
He pauses a moment, then his voice breaks through the sound of the waves—low, rough at the edges, but pure in the middle. The notes vibrate through his chest and into my palm. It's that Ed Sheeran song, the one about love, and something inside me splinters. Before I can stop them, tears mix with the rainwater on my face.
"Shit," he whispers, pulling me closer. "Didn't mean to wreck you."
"It's not—" I press my face against his neck, breathing him in. The weight of how much I've missed him crushes my lungs.
When I can speak again, I look up. "Do you truly believe in love?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"The kind that needs an answer."
"I believe in this. Whatever the hell this is. Do you?"
I take a deep breath. I want to believe him, every inch of me does, but I don’t know if I can anymore. "No. Love breaks people, Travis."
"So do cars. Doesn't stop us from driving." His fingers slide into my hair. "You stopped living because you were afraid of the crash."
I look away, his words cutting too close. Then he shifts, voice casual in a way that makes my stomach drop.
"Been meaning to ask—where's Lil these days? Haven't seen her around. You two were thick as thieves."
My body goes cold. I pull away, suddenly needing air. "Can we go?"
He frowns. "What? Did I—"
"Travis," I cut him off, standing. "Are you honestly telling me you don’t know?”
He sits up, staring at me. I can’t read his expression in the dark, but the shadows of his face tell me he looks confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Chief never told you?”
“Chief doesn’t say anything about anything.”
The rain feels heavier now, each drop like a small stone. "Lillian is dead."
The air around us goes thick. “What?”
His voice is a low hiss.
“I...I need to go home.”
I stand, so suddenly I feel a little dizzy. It’s bad enough I’m soaked, that he is riding after a few drinks and that I let him fuck me with his fingers, but now this.
“Violet,” he yells as I charge up the beach.
“Let’s just go.”
“What happened to her?”
I pause, my entire body freezing. “I don’t know.”
But I do know.
I do.
And it ruined my life.
6
“SO HE HASN’T CALLED yet? He could be busy,” Reagan says, sitting on my kitchen bench and staring at me as I pace the room.
I’ve been doing this for about an hour now, and I still can’t figure out what’s going on. I’m pretty sure I scared Travis off with my mental “I don’t believe in love” speech. Then I blurted out Lillian’s death to him and bolted when he asked for an explanation. I should have given him an explanation, I know that, but honestly, the thought of talking to him about that scares me.
I don’t talk about her.
At all.
“I think I scared him off,” I admit.
Reagan sighs, pursing her lips. “How? Tell me everything. We can break it down together.”
“We went to dinner, which was nice. We did a whole karaoke thing, but I freaked out halfway through and we got into it outside. Then, he took me to the beach and things just...I don’t know, got heated. We kissed and then... well, yeah...”
“Oh my God, you had sex?” she blurts.
I shake my head. “No, of course not. But he touched me.”
“Travis Phoenix fingered you?” she practically screams.
I shoot her a look. “Do you have to be so blunt?”
She grins. “You lucky... oh my God, fuck. Was it good? Tell me everything.”
“Well, it wasn’t bad,” I say, and her eyes widen. “It was...ah, I don’t know. Amazing, incredible, everything I could have ever imagined.”
“God, you’re so lucky. So lucky. Tell me what happened next, I’m invested.”
I slide onto the bench, crossing my legs. “Well, afterward we talked, and he sang to me...”
“He sang to you? Jesus, Vi...”
I roll my eyes. “Reagan, I swear...”
She fans herself. “Then what?”
“I may have said I don’t believe in love.”
“Violet!” she yells, shaking her head. “Why do you kill good moments? A gorgeous rockstar touches you, sings to you, and you dump on it with that! Woman, I ought to strangle you.”