Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Chief growls, “You almost died, asshole. Your little rockstar life, your little party-boy dreams. You think she wants that?”
“Stop,” I breathe. It’s all coming loose inside me. “That’s not fair. He’s—he’s been trying. We have all had difficult times. I believe he is doing the best he can.”
Travis looks to me, his eyes full of so much love it almost hurts to keep eye contact.
“‘Trying’ isn’t enough,” Chief says. “He might be doing well now, Violet, but what about two years from now? Five? When he’s more famous and the entire world wants a piece of him. Do you think you’re going to be enough to keep all those demons away?”
I don’t know what to say. The air in my lungs feels like it’s suffocating me.
Travis finally speaks, his voice gravelly. “I’m not you, Chief. I won’t fucking destroy the woman I love.”
The room goes silent. Mom shifts uncomfortably, looking down.
“What did you fucking say to me?” Chief growls, so low it’s terrifying.
“I didn’t stutter,” Travis bites back. “I’m not you, and I’m not going to hurt her.”
It seems to be taking everything inside Chief to hold it together. His eyes flick to my mom, and they make eye contact for a long, long time. It’s hard to read what is being exchanged between them, but eventually, she shakes her head, just slightly. She’s telling him to stop, to leave it alone.
I take my chance to speak. “You can’t protect me from everything. You can’t choose for me. I have to start learning my own lessons.”
His jaw ticks. “I’m done here.”
He turns, walking toward the door.
“Daddy,” I whisper, and he pauses but doesn’t turn back. “Please.”
He leaves without another word, and my heart breaks a little more.
Mom comes over, taking my face in her hands. “He’s angry, but he will get through it. He is going to calm down. You just need to give him time to wrap his mind around this. His opinion matters, Violet. Perhaps you need to hear him out too.”
I nod, but I’m not sure Chief will ever be okay with this.
Some things are already broken past repair. All you can do is hold the biggest pieces together and pretend it doesn’t hurt.
Travis looks at the ceiling for a good long while, like maybe the answers are up there. “I’ll go. If you want me to go.”
It’s the way he says it. Like he means it.
I stare at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were an addict?”
“Because I am a fucking idiot,” he exhales, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Violet. I didn’t want you to have to think about me like that. It was a dark time.”
“My dad has a point, though. The more famous you get, the more temptation there will be. That is something I... we... have to consider.”
He glances at my mom. “I think it’s best I just leave you ladies to it tonight. Everyone needs space.”
My heart aches, but I can’t bring myself to argue.
Tonight was... it was chaos.
We all need to come down from that.
14
IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS.
And in that time, my father has refused to speak to me.
It hurts. Every single weekend that passes feels like a small part of me is being dissolved.
I know I need to go and see him, but I don’t know how to do that.
I don’t know how to come to an agreement about this.
His words have been playing in my mind, over and over again.
Because deep down, that is a fear of mine. Being in love with a rockstar, someone who is going to have women throwing themselves at him, someone who has easy access to drugs and alcohol—it is all temptations that he has very clearly fallen into before. What is stopping him now? I’m not naive enough to believe that I’m everything he needs and he will never be tempted again. Our love is special, but is it that special? I just don’t know.
Travis can feel the distance. I know it, and he knows it.
Chief’s words are beginning to drown me.
Today, while Travis is at work, I decide to come and talk to Mom about it. I stayed at Travis’ place the last two nights, and I could use a little mom time. I reach the front door and go inside, but it’s quiet. “Mom?” I call out, rounding the corner to the kitchen and not seeing her there.
Weird.
“Momma!” I shout, but there’s only silence.
It’s one of those moments where I feel it right to my core, that something is wrong. I don’t know what it is, but every nerve ending goes on high alert as I walk down the hall. Outside her bedroom door comes a strangled but faint moan. I fling it open and freeze. She’s on the bed—naked, every inch of her skin a bruised map, ribs jutting unnaturally, her hair matted with blood. I stagger forward, hand pressed to my mouth as I cry out her name.