Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
“Your father took you with him when he went to be with her?”
“At first, yes.”
She flicked her gaze away and lowered her voice. “I knew he was unfaithful. I didn’t have names. I didn’t want them. But I knew.”
There was nothing to say to that, so Jule didn’t try.
“I assumed they were flings. Meaningless things. I didn’t realize he had been seeing someone for so long. Someone he knew before he met me. I didn’t realize he involved you in it.”
“I’m sorry he did that to you, Mom.”
Her eyes shone. “He must have loved her very much.”
They were being honest with one another, which was good. It was long past time for truths to be spoken out loud in the Sterling family. Even painful truths.
“Tor once told me that Dad loved her. At the time, I wasn’t sure that was true. Looking back at all of it now, I agree but for reasons I didn’t understand then. He loved her because he loved who he was when he was with her.” He scooted forward so he was closer to his mother. “Vickie Dunworthy was a shell of a person, Mom. She was nothing like you. She was damaged and defeated and vacant. Dad loved that because compared to her, he was strong and powerful and important. But the truth is, he was none of those things, not inside where it mattered. He was a weak man, and when he stood beside real strength, he couldn’t hide from himself, so he looked for a different type of mirror.”
“He was a good man.” Her eyes watered. “He was your father. You shouldn’t—”
“He was my father,” Jule agreed. “And I loved him. I really did. Despite his flaws, I loved him. I’m not sure he was a good man, but that doesn’t matter anymore.”
She cleared her throat and reached for a tissue on the end table. “You shouldn’t have been exposed to those things. I should have protected you from his…activities.”
“I spent my time playing with Tor, not watching Dad and Vickie.” The word playing was doing a shit ton of heavy lifting, but it was true enough. Honesty had its limits and telling her all the things he had done growing up was well on the other side of those limits.
“That’s how you know him,” she said.
“It’s how I met him,” he confirmed. “We also went to school together. We spent a lot of time together before…” He drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I was there that day.”
She jerked her gaze to him, her eyes wide.
He nodded, confirming that she understood him correctly. “We were in the backyard when it happened. I didn’t realize what was going on but Tor did. He made sure I got home, made sure I was safe that day, and then he blew up his life to make sure I’d stay safe every day after that. Tor Dunworthy is the best person I know. Nobody is as smart, nobody is as dedicated, nobody is as strong, nobody is as loyal. I hope you can get past who his parents were and the way I met him and get to know him. I do. But I need you to understand that even though I loved Dad, I will never be like him. I’m not afraid of being with someone who I know is better than me, I feel lucky to have that chance. From the moment Tor all but disappeared to go undercover, I only felt alive when he came to see me. The rest of the time, I was sleepwalking through life. I want to be awake, Mom. I want to feel alive. I want Tor. I can walk away from anything else in this world, but not him. I will never hide that and I will never, ever give him up.”
“And then she said she’d been at her sister’s house but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a sister and—”
“Holy shit, Tan, are you telling this story in real time? I’m not sure how much more I can take,” Travis said.
“Fuck off,” Titan said as he shoved his brother. The two of them were sitting on the couch.
“He’s right,” Tyson said from his perch on a loveseat they’d found on a curb during bulk trash. It was in remarkably good condition. “We need a fast-forward button for this shit.”
“Or a skip button,” Trey suggested from beside him.
Tor sat on the floor, back against the wall, and Jule was stretched out next to him, head on his lap. “Hey, Tan, you know how they say everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know about?” Jule said. “Why don’t you try that approach. See how it goes.”
Everyone laughed, even Titan.
“Fuck all of you.” Titan crossed his arms over his chest, but he was smiling.
“Seriously though, why are you letting her into your head like this?” Tor raked his fingers over Jule’s scalp as he spoke. “Doesn’t sound like she makes you happy. Move on.”