Total pages in book: 7
Estimated words: 7034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 35(@200wpm)___ 28(@250wpm)___ 23(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 7034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 35(@200wpm)___ 28(@250wpm)___ 23(@300wpm)
When you feel low, immediately call out to Daddy and Master, and they’ll come running.
Wear them jammies. Always be wearing them jammies. They be comfy.
Cuddle your dogs and maybe ask for a third.
Let’s face it. Your Owners will insist you talk to a professional. But make sure the before and after is all about things you love. (Kit proposes ice cream and movies.)
You can always call the Brat Squad if you wish to be entertained. Like, we could totally prank a Sadist to make you laugh.
For funny comfort shows, we strongly recommend Ted Lasso, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Schitt’s Creek, Young Sheldon, and Resident Alien.
Baby steps are the way to go, bro! Don’t rush your recovery, please. Or we will tell on you.
Corey suggests you visit their farm to cuddle more doggies and Chonky. Also, Archie will make you anything you want.
Sometimes, the most freeing thing is to break down and cry.
Please enjoy these coupons we’ve made you.
FROM NOT A BRAT
Hello, Shay.
I miss you.
I’m sure River and Reese are devastated without you too.
They will find you, though. They have to.
But enough of that, because I don’t cope well with the anxiousness anymore. Instead, I want to give you some aces you can keep up your sleeve for future use. You never know when you might need one.
1. Master Greer, the New Yorkiest of all New Yorkers, recently said he’s tired of pizza. Seriously, he said that.
2. If you want to scare Master Lucian, tell him, “Watch out for the kid behind you!” And watch him recoil in horror. It’s so funny!
3. Mention to Colt that it’s not chili without beans and watch him lose his mind.
I have more if you need them!
You learn so much by observing. But you already know that.
XO,
Not a brat.
THE FUNNY PAGES BY LUCAS CARTER
PART II
Hello again, honey.
No one got peed on today, much to Jordan’s relief.
A few days ago, I did get to watch Colt’s face when he sank his teeth into an appetizer Macklin prepared, though. My God, you would have laughed. The treat admittedly appeared very tasty. Like a small cracker with something fried on top, and then something white and what looked like radish. Colt was clearly preoccupied, so he didn’t think twice—despite Macklin’s latest reputation around the house. Colt stuck the little morsel into his mouth. Chewed once or twice, then slowed down as it dawned on him. As the flavors spread. A pinch of what the fuck flitted by, and then the fuck me sideways, this is nasty.
He chewed a couple more times before he promptly shook his head and went to spit it out.
It turned out to be toast with apple butter, fried octopus, horseradish whip, and a candied strawberry.
We miss you so much.
FROM LITTLE COREY CRUZ
Hi, Shay.
It’s me, Corey.
It goes without saying I’m worried sick about you, but I’ve made the decision that River and Reese are going to be successful. They will rescue you, and you will come home again. I am sure of it!
When you do, I will meet the new version of you for the first time. Because I understand your whole world has changed. You have changed. The Shay I hugged a couple of weeks ago is just a piece of the new you.
After reading our friends’ memories and anecdotes, it’s clear there are many pieces that make up who you are. But one trait runs through every piece.
You are a fighter. You are a Tenley. You’re Shay, for crying out loud!
You will beat your demons.
Much love and a hundred hugs,
Corey
FROM ASH & NATHAN
From Ash
Hey, sweetheart. When Jordan shared his plan to focus on lighthearted stuff for his entries in this book, I decided that Nathan and I will cover the boring grown-up bits in our section. Then you can cruise on by to the fun crap on the next page, where Jordan and James are waiting.
First things first, when you come home—and you will—we’re gonna give you a month or two to get settled. Rest, eat, spend time with River and Reese, decompress, go easy on yourself—all that. But after that, Nathan and I will come over for dinner once a week. We’ll invite Emerson and Danny too.
You share enough traits with River that I suspect you’ll wanna close yourself in a lot, and I don’t trust the Reese side of you to be stubborn enough to see people after what you’ve suffered through. But you will need family.
They don’t have to be long stretches. We can stop by for a half hour, an hour… Hell, I can chow down a pizza in the driveway in ten minutes and then give you privacy. We’ll take things slowly, okay?
I promise, the spotlight won’t be aimed at you the whole time. You have two Owners who will need to heal too.
(Yeah, I’ll be watching you, twins.)