Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
It makes me feel so exposed, having a family member see pictures of us where we look like a sweet couple, knowing that it’s all going to have to end in January.
Now my brother’s probably going to follow Niko’s account, and I know he’s going to pester the living shit out of me when the breakup comes.
“Wow,” Aaron says, scrolling through the photos. “Dude. Niko, you are so much fucking cooler than my brother.”
I reach past Niko and give my brother a shove. “Shut up, Aaron.”
“No offense, Ollie,” Aaron says, laughing. “These pictures are so cool. You really should go into photography. How do you get it to look like that?”
“I have an app where I can tune the colors and shadows to get them exactly how I want them.”
The two of them start to nerd out about photography, lighting, and colors for the next ten minutes.
And I watch my brother bond with Niko.
Because life couldn’t get any fucking weirder, apparently.
Aaron insists on turning on his new favorite zombie show afterward, and we all watch together.
The side of my body is pressed up against Niko’s as we relax into the couch. I’m hyper aware of it, but every time I move off a little, he adjusts and we’re touching again.
I don’t know if he’s doing it on purpose. But I want it so badly my chest starts to ache again.
Have I felt normal at all since Niko came into my life? It’s been day after day of nonstop change in my world. Changes I’ve wanted for a long time, and some that I haven’t.
If I could do it all over again, would I?
One thought rings out over all the rest.
Of course I fucking would. I would do all of this for him, again and again.
The room is warm. After a couple of episodes, under the blankets and cozy next to him, I start to doze off every time I blink my eyes.
When the music at the end of the third episode sounds out, I wake up with a start, blinking over at Niko.
“I think it’s past Ollie’s bedtime,” Niko says. “Was fun hanging out, though, Aaron. We can watch more tomorrow.”
“Mhm. Tomorrow,” I mumble.
“Peace,” Aaron says, hopping off the couch and heading out fast. He bounds away to the stairs that lead down to the basement, where his room is.
“Your brother’s fun,” Niko says.
“He thinks you’re cooler than me.”
“I mean, I obviously am.”
I shove Niko and he laughs, putting his hands on my forearms. “Joking. Joking. Obviously you’re the cooler one.”
“You smell good,” I murmur, still drowsy.
“I smell like wine. I think you just like wine, Oliver.”
“I like you and I like wine. Can’t it be both?”
“You’re actually telling me you like me? Now I know you’re overly tired. Bed. Come on.”
I manage to get up from the cozy cocoon on the couch and I lead Niko up the stairs quietly. My parents’ room is on one end of the top floor, and my old bedroom is on the opposite end.
The floorboards crack a little under our feet, and a nightlight plugged in low on the wall is the only light in the hall.
“I used to walk down this hall after hockey games and think about how much you hated me,” I tell him in a low whisper.
“I never hated you. Just wanted to end your high school hockey career.”
I snort. “I really would have been your friend, even back then. You were so fucking stubborn.”
“I was just obsessed with winning. I didn’t have a problem with you in particular. Well. Maybe I did.”
I push open my bedroom door and flip the switch that turns on my bedside lamp. The room is cast in a warm, dim light, and I’m surrounded by my entire childhood, all in one place.
Trophies along shelves, most of which were just participation trophies from when I was a scrawny kid in every sport.
Framed posters from a bunch of movies.
My navy comforter and baby blue bedsheets.
“Nice posters,” Niko says, looking all around.
“Thanks. I had them tacked up on the wall for a long time until Emily told me I look trashy if I don’t frame them.”
“Your sister and your brother have good taste.”
I strip off all of my clothes, unceremoniously, until I’m just wearing my boxer briefs. I get into the bed and under the covers, and can’t help but groan with pleasure.
“Fuck, this bed is comfortable. I’m on a marshmallow. I’m in a cloud.”
I reach over and turn out the light, and all I feel, for right now, is pure bliss.
“I am going to fuck you so hard in this bed tomorrow. I hope you realize that,” Niko says after he strips off his clothes and gets in next to me. “And by the way, Merry Christmas.”
I glance over at my little neon alarm clock and realize it’s long past midnight.