Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Oliver executed the plan perfectly… for me.
He did all of it solely because he wanted me to stay at Crimson, and I’ve been turning that fact over in my mind all week, and it’s still hard to believe.
I love him.
And even for me, it feels like a first time.
Everything I’ve been involved with in the past was… murky.
But with Oliver, it all feels fresh.
The New Year’s party happens a week after we get back onto campus, and before we head over to the event, I’m actually fucking nervous.
“You realize that is the fifth time you’ve checked the mirror in the last thirty seconds?” Oliver says from where he’s leaning on the wall in the entryway.
I step away from the full-length mirror in the hall and turn to him.
“Because every time I look at you I’m more tempted just to steal you away upstairs and fuck you all night, instead.”
“Christ, what did I just walk in on?” Noah asks as he comes down the hall. “And can I request more of it?”
“For fuck’s sake, Noah. You know that movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once? That’s you,” I protest.
“I just know where the fun is at all times,” he says with a smile.
Rayne, Hunter, and Weston come downstairs at the same time, and I realize that’s another thing that’s flipped itself upside down in my life, too.
When I see Weston and Hunter, I feel trust.
I have brothers that I actually trust. I don’t care if they’re half-brothers, and I don’t care that I only met them when we were all in college already.
They actually care about me.
Just another thing that makes my life feel fucking surreal right now.
Like I don’t deserve it.
Like I couldn’t possibly deserve any of this.
But for years, I listened to that voice in my head that told me I didn’t deserve to be around good people. I believed it. And all it got me was a steady stream of shitty situations, and all I ever did was get involved with people like Callum.
Who’s now going to be in jail for years.
So maybe, for once, I shouldn’t listen to my own doubts.
I should just charge ahead, even if I don’t know where I’m going.
Even if it’s scarier than being alone, sometimes.
“In your head again?” Ollie says close to my ear, pressing a little kiss to my neck.
“Pretty sure you’re a mind reader.”
“No. I just pay attention to you.”
The best part is the simplest.
When I’m with him, I don’t have the instinct to disappear, anymore.
The New Year’s party is nothing like the winter formal party.
It’s about half the size. The lighting is dim. It’s held in the Colossus dining hall, but all of the tables and chairs have been cleared out, making room on the big, wooden floor for people to dance.
It’s smaller than the ballroom at Student Hall.
Each stained glass window high up above the wooden beams in the room has a little glowing light in it, and each chandelier is lit in a low light, too. Strings of golden twinkle lights fall from the ceiling in little cascades.
If the winter formal was like a massive, expensive high school prom on steroids, the New Year’s party is more like…
Something out of a Victorian fantasy novel.
Like we’re in some sort of magical place.
Like you wouldn’t be surprised to see a tiny fairy flitting around up there somewhere near the tall ceiling, spreading pixie dust onto everyone below.
Oliver’s wearing a plum-colored suit and I’m in slate grey.
He looks fucking incredible, because he always does.
I slide a hand under his jacket and squeeze his hip, tucking my fingertips past his waistband a little.
“Grey’s a good color on you,” he tells me.
“And purple makes you look like royalty.”
I take him out onto the dance floor, grabbing one of his hands and putting my other hand on his waist.
“Dance with me. Before we go take pictures, or get drinks, or any of that. This is the first time I’m at a big party with you and I’m not drugged.”
“Hey, you’re right,” Oliver says. “First time for everything, I guess.”
The music playing sounds something like Frank Sinatra, some sort of old big band music that makes me feel like I’m in a movie.
“You want to know something?” I tell him. “I think I might have had a crush on you when I thought I hated you.”
He snorts. “Of course you did.”
I drop my jaw, pulling back and looking him dead in the eye. “Don’t act like it’s all obvious, like that.”
“It kind of was, though.”
“You trying to fight me right now, Ollie? I love you, but I’ll fight, if you want me to.”
His smile makes the skin near his eyes crinkle, and I hate how weak that makes me feel.
“I always thought that if you’d ever let me get close to you, we’d be great friends.”