Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 84114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“Shh.”
I can’t see properly, but fast movement catches my eye, like he’s waving his hands to get her to stop talking.
I lean against the bookshelf behind me.
Nope, it’s not enough. I have to sink to the floor.
Zach. A virgin.
I knew he wasn’t exactly experienced, but … no one? Nothing?
At all?
Thinking about it, it kinda makes sense with him studying all the time and not exactly being great with people, but I mean, you don’t have to speak to have sex.
Last night filters through my mind again, but now I’m seeing it in a different light.
Damn, if he hadn’t put a stop to it, I would’ve gone as far as he’d wanted to, and that’s no way to spend your first time.
I think back to my first time and wince. Zach deserves more than that.
I don’t know what to do with this piece of knowledge, but I do know I need to leave it up to Zach.
Without letting them see me, I sneak out of the library unsure where to go from here.
16
Zach
“Would you keep your voice down?” I hiss at Ray.
“Why?” She manages something close to a smile. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Oh.” I look her over. “Are you—”
“No.”
“But—”
“I just said no. I’m ace, not an alien. I still have all the same pieces.”
That simmering need to know passes through me. Why did she think trying it would be a good idea when she couldn’t look more disinterested?
“Are you going to tell me what’s up?” she asks. “I’m starting to get bored.”
I don’t know what I can tell her. Mentioning that Foster and I kissed yesterday—twice—seems too unbelievable for words. Maybe that’s why I’m having such difficulty voicing it.
“Is it Grant?”
I glance at the stacks around us to make sure no one will overhear. “How did you—”
“Your hair is so fucked up today it looks worse than mine.”
I fight to keep from smiling. “There’s no way that’s possible.”
“I’m so offended.” Her flat tone makes it clear she really isn’t. “Do you have a little crush on him?”
“No! God, Ray. I’m smarter than that.”
“Smarter than what?”
“Getting a crush on the most … the best …”
“Hockey player?” she suggests.
“Yes. Him. It’s a ridiculous notion.”
“Then why did you do it anyway?”
I scowl at her, then deflate. “Because apparently I’m not as smart as I think I am.”
“There, there.” She pats my shoulder awkwardly.
“Your sympathy is overwhelming.”
“I’m glad you noticed. I don’t get it, but I hear unrequited love is a bitch.”
“Excuse me, I didn’t say I was in love with him.”
“Oh. I assumed—”
“That I’m pathetic?” Can I really blame her for that one? “I’m under no illusion that people like me and Foster belong together. This is merely chemical. There was one place he wanted that kiss to lead, and I went and freaked out instead.”
“He kissed you?”
Uh-oh. I scramble to think of something to say to cover up my slip, but, nope. It’s a little too late to backtrack now. “Yes. And then I kissed him.”
“Huh.”
“Huh, what?”
“I don’t see it.”
Something dies a little inside me. “Thank you! Neither do I.”
“Why did you freak out? Because you’re a virgin?”
“Shh! For the love of all things, keep your voice down. And no, that isn’t why I freaked out.”
“Then wh—”
“I got a little, umm, too excited.”
“Oh.” For the first time since we’ve met, Ray lets out a short laugh. It’s dry and not at all lively, but it’s something. “That’s hilarious.”
“I live to amuse.” Apparently. “When I say I’m a … you know. I mean the grossly-inexperienced-only-had-my-first-kiss-yesterday type.”
She looks at me like I have two heads, and oh no, Foster is going to look at me that way, isn’t he? She pats my shoulder again. “Umm, there … there?”
I shrug her off. “I don’t need sympathy. I need to work out what I’m doing. I don’t want Foster to know, and even though it’s doubtful I’ll have that experience again with him, I want to feel competent whenever the time comes. With anyone.”
“Ah, competent. The dream of men everywhere.”
“You’re not being helpful.”
She sighs and turns back to her work. I stare at my computer screen and realize we’ve been here half an hour and I haven’t even opened the intranet.
“You don’t have guy friends you could talk to about it? Or, you know, someone else who doesn’t have only marginally more experience than you?”
I groan. “I would talk to my best friend about it, but he’s Foster’s brother.”
“Porn.”
I jolt around to look at her. “Excuse me?”
“You want to research. Go watch some porn.”
“I don’t think …” Don’t think what? Where was I taking that?
Ray leans over and slowly closes my laptop. “You’re giving me anxiety. Go away.”
“This is a public place. You can’t banish me.”
“And you can’t watch porn here.” She pauses and looks me over. “Unless being arrested is your kink.”
My cheeks blaze. “Do you know what an inside voice is?”