Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
When Gigi reached her, she threw her arms around the girl and captured her in a feverish hug.
“Wow, I had no idea she was coming,” Nuala said. “She must’ve wanted it to be a surprise.”
And just like that, I knew exactly who the mystery beauty was.
Gigi’s mother and Derek’s ex-wife, Paloma.
18.
Milly
“Mam! I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve missed you so much,” Gigi exclaimed, and my heart squeezed at seeing her reunited with her mother. I suspected it meant a lot to her that Paloma had taken a break from touring to come see her on her birthday.
“I had to come see you when you turned fifteen, mija,” Paloma replied, still hugging Gigi tightly. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Her Spanish accent was light, probably faded from living in Ireland for so many years. Nuala rose and went to greet her, but I stayed seated, not wishing to intrude on the touching family moment. Derek appeared then with his son, Pablo, who was bestowed with a hug from his mother, too, and though he smiled and appeared happy to see her, he didn’t seem as overwhelmed as Gigi was. Then again, the bond between mother and daughter was a special one. I knew it because I had that same bond with Deirdre.
Then Paloma turned her attention to Derek, and they exchanged polite greetings. There didn’t seem to be any tension between them, which was nice to see, but at the same time, I was glad they weren’t overly affectionate. I certainly wasn’t sure how I’d feel if Paloma had hugged Derek in the same way she’d just hugged her kids.
I was also a little disappointed that he hadn’t come to say a quick hello or even looked at me since he’d appeared. My stomach felt hollow as I wished for him to turn my way, and that was a troubling sign. Maybe I didn’t have as good of a leash on my feelings for him as I’d thought. The realisation had my skin turning uncomfortably warm and my pulse racing with a sense of panic. Was there any backtracking from this?
Derek’s parents appeared then, alongside his younger brother, Tristan. They all went to sit at one of the tables while Paloma regaled them with stories of being on tour with Rosanna Dove. Gigi sat next to her mother the entire time, completely starry eyed as she listened to her speak. I saw the resemblance between them, matched up the parts of both Gigi and Pablo that they’d inherited from their mother. Deirdre was at the other end of the garden talking with some of the teenage girls in attendance, so I remained sitting alone, sipping my wine and observing the party.
Mainly, I found myself studying Paloma, her natural charisma and charm. The way she so effortlessly held court. Not a single hint of nerves showed even though she was the sole focus of everyone’s attention. I could never be that way. As soon there were more than two or three pairs of eyes on me, I tended to panic and mess up my words. It was clear how Derek fell for her, how the two of them got swept up in a whirlwind romance that summer when they met in Spain. My heart ached a little because I’d never really experienced that kind of thrill, not when it came to relationships. Sure, I’d been attracted to my past partners, but it wasn’t an all-consuming passion. The closest I’d ever come to feeling truly wrapped up in another person was the year I’d spent with Derek as a teenager. And even then, I could never fully relish the way he made my heart race, how my skin tingled whenever he touched me, even in the most innocuous of ways. Everything with Derek was always shrouded by guilt. Guilt that I was betraying Aunt Nell just by being friends with him.
My aunt had been older back then than I was now, and as I thought of her, I felt a certain bitterness. Yes, she’d helped me in so many ways when I was starting out in life, supporting me through having Deirdre and everything that came with having a baby and studying at the same time. But it felt wrong that she’d made me promise never to have anything other than a casual friendship with Derek. Who made a teenager make such a promise just because of a personal hurt that was done to them decades earlier? I certainly couldn’t imagine doing something like that to Deirdre or any other young person in my life, no matter what terrible thing might’ve befallen me.
Maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself as I watched Paloma and the Balfes reconnect. I felt like an outsider, and I was allowing old pain to fester into resentment. I didn’t want to be that person, and I needed to remind myself to be happy with the life I had because it was a good life, even if it was missing the relationship part.