Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Derek exhaled and ran a hand over his jaw. “My mam was the one to tell me everything in the end. It turned out Dad had told her all about his relationship with your aunt, how she got pregnant and wanted him to marry her, his refusal and promise to care for her and the baby regardless. I didn’t bring it up with Dad because he’s still unwell as he waits for his surgery, and I didn’t want to cause him stress. Mam said he still has a lot of guilt and regret over it all.”
I barely moved as I listened to him speak. It almost felt surreal for Derek to know about the thing I’d always been too afraid to tell him, too worried it would tarnish the love and respect he had for his father.
My throat was dry. “My aunt told me the story that day when she and my parents came home and found us in the kitchen together.”
“I remember. It was obvious she didn’t like me much.”
My heart clenched at the thought of him seeing how my aunt disliked him so immediately. What must he have thought? He’d been nothing but polite, and yet she’d acted like he was the most unsavoury individual she’d ever laid eyes on. It must’ve been really confusing to him at the time.
I cleared my throat. “I never wanted to tell you because her version painted your father in such a poor light, and I didn’t want it to affect your relationship with him. Aunt Nell told me that your dad had been cruel, that he’d callously told her to get rid of the baby and that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. But that wasn’t what happened at all. I know that now because I’ve heard your dad’s account of it. Aunt Nell omitted certain details on purpose because she saw how I looked at you. At the time, I’d thought it was because she feared you were just like your dad, and that you’d do the same thing to me as he’d done to her, but that wasn’t it at all.”
Derek’s brows furrowed. “It wasn’t?”
“She claims it was because she resented Padraig for refusing to marry her, and she couldn’t stand the thought of me being with you and becoming a part of the family he created after he left her. It beggars belief, but she still holds that grudge even to this day. It’s one of the reasons we fought when I confronted her about lying. When I was a teenager, she made me promise not to get involved with you, and at the time, I made that promise. I thought she’d insisted on it out of love for me, but I think ultimately it was all about control. She saw me as her little protégé, and she wanted to be the one making all the big decisions about my life. She felt an ownership over me as her niece and goddaughter, and she didn’t want me getting involved with anyone she didn’t approve of, in this case you and your family.”
“Is that why you said no when I asked you to be my girlfriend?” A tender expression softened his face, and I recalled the night when he’d kissed me for the first and only time during our friendship.
I nodded, emotion clutching me. “I thought I could be your friend and still remain loyal to the promise I made her, but I fell for you anyway. That day on the beach when you thought I rejected your proposal because I didn’t love you back or because I thought we were too young and it wasn’t a prudent choice? Derek, that was so far from the truth. You had my entire heart, but I didn’t feel like I could say yes because I feared hurting my aunt. She was doing so much for me at the time, offering to host me in London, pay for my college education. I felt I owed her a debt of gratitude, and I … I guess that was the entire point. She did all those things to keep me under her control.” My voice caught as my eyes flickered back and forth between his. “I broke your heart that day. I know I did. I’d never felt so shattered than when I watched you walk away from me, believing I didn’t love you back.”
“You did break my heart,” Derek confessed, his jaw flickering as he swallowed. “But it wasn’t your fault. You thought you were doing the right thing.”
The gentle forgiveness in his eyes almost ruined me. Wetness pooled beneath my cheeks. Propelled by a sudden need to be close to him, I crawled into his arms and settled between his thighs, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly while Derek sat with his back resting against the headboard.