Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 51484 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51484 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“No, I…” I swallow and then shrug, unable to lie to him. “The thought may have crossed my mind, but I know that isn’t you.”
“You’re right. It isn’t me.” He curves his hand around my jaw, tipping my head back. “What’s between us has nothing to do with your brother. This is about you and me and what’s always been between us, Sutton.” His lips brush mine. “From day fucking one, I wanted more than I should have.”
I pull back to look at him. “You never said anything.”
“You were still seventeen when we met, baby.” Guilt flickers across his expression. “Maybe I felt like an asshole for wanting what I knew I shouldn’t.”
“Jordan.” My heart clenches and twists. “You really think that?”
He shrugs, his gaze sliding from mine. “You weren’t even legal, Sutton. And you were my best friend’s sister. So, yeah, I felt like an asshole. I tried like hell not to feel it. I tried to ignore it. I tried every-goddamn-thing to pretend it away back then.”
I stare at him for a long moment, turning over his revelation. Scrutinizing his expression. And then I gasp. “You let Jamison lie to me because of it, didn’t you?”
He doesn’t say anything, but the truth is painted across his face. And that breaks my heart for him. He didn’t destroy his life to protect my brother’s secret. At least, not entirely. He did it because… God, because he didn’t feel worthy of me. That makes me want to cry.
“You couldn’t help the way you felt, Jordan. Just like I couldn’t help it,” I whisper, reaching for his hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Not sure the rest of the world would agree, princess.”
“Fuck the rest of the world!” I cry softly, which makes him look at me again, as if he’s surprised by my vehemence. I laugh, a painful, raw sound. Maybe I was still three months from my eighteenth birthday when we met. Maybe the world would have judged him for falling for me, but legally, I was over the age of consent. And there was nothing to judge. He never said a word. He never touched me. Until today, he never kissed me. He was a perfect gentleman. “The rest of the world doesn’t know you. I do. You didn’t do anything wrong. You kept your distance and treated me with respect. God, I was so desperate to make you fall for me because I didn’t even know you felt that way.”
“No trying needed, princess. I was fucking wild for you from the day we met.” He sighs quietly, his brows furrowed. “That’s why…”
“Why you let Jamison lie to me,” I finish for him.
He jerks his chin in a nod.
“What did he do?” I ask…pleading quietly for an answer.
“Doesn’t matter now.”
I laugh in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? It absolutely matters now! He ruined your life to keep it hidden, and you let him. You wouldn’t have done that without a damn good reason, and feeling guilty for falling for me wasn’t a good enough reason, Jordan. So I want to know why.”
“Let it go, Sutton.”
“No!” I try to roll away from him, frustrated, but he reels me right back in, pressing up against me. I huff, glowering at him.
“Some things, you don’t need to know.”
“He said the same thing.”
“Well, at least we agree on something,” Jordan grunts, planting a hand on my bare ass. “He’s right. You don’t need to know.”
I close my eyes, slowly counting to five.
“What are you doing?”
“Searching for the patience not to strangle you.”
His soft chuckle grates against my womb in a way that should be illegal. “You’ve never been patient.”
“So I should just strangle you then.”
“Shit. Probably.” He laughs louder, and God, I love that sound. It’s hard to be mad at him when that sound melts me like it does. It’s deep and gritty, rusty almost. But perfect.
“Jerk,” I mumble without heat.
He squeezes my ass cheek, sobering. “I’m not telling you what he did. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, tell me now, Sutton.”
Is it?
God, is that even a question? As much as I want the truth, I’ve always wanted him more. That hasn’t changed. I don’t think it ever will. But…can I live knowing that he’s intentionally keeping something from me?
I don’t know.
“Will you at least tell me exactly why you let me believe it?” I whisper. “I know it wasn’t just because you felt guilty about me.”
He expels a sigh. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth, obviously.” I roll my eyes, annoyed. How is that even a question?
He’s quiet for a long moment, so long I almost give up on getting an answer. But then he mutters a soft curse. “Had I pushed the issue, the fallout would have hurt you. You would have felt like you were choosing between me and him, and I didn’t want that to happen. He always loved you beyond reason. I figured you were better off with him than with me. I didn’t have a goddamn thing to offer you at that point, and I was facing potential jailtime. You didn’t need to be mixed up in that. So I just…didn’t correct you the day you came to see me.”