Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 34804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 174(@200wpm)___ 139(@250wpm)___ 116(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 174(@200wpm)___ 139(@250wpm)___ 116(@300wpm)
The fact that he’s doing so now causes more of the walls I erected to crumble, revealing more of my current self to him as well. It’s like peeling away a protective hide, leaving me raw and exposed.
I swallow past the lump of emotion in my throat and try to give him the best advice I can. “I expect that’s normal given your situation. And I expect there’s no easy fix. I don’t think you really need me telling you this, but I’ll say it anyway. You need to make the most of what time you have left.”
His gaze comes to me slowly.
Painfully.
The naked grief in his eyes touches me so deeply, I lean into him. “You’ve got this, Rafe. I’ll help you through it.”
“Why would you?” His disbelief is evident. It’s warranted, as well.
“Because, no matter what, I guess I still care about you. And I care deeply for your parents. You know that’s never changed. Let me be here for you. You only have to tell me what you need, and I’ll give it.”
I’m not prepared for the flash of heat in his eyes, nor am I ready for the way my blood quickens from it.
“I need to feel something more than grief and sadness,” he says bluntly. And then with challenge in his tone, he adds, “That may be the beer talking.”
My mouth curves into an unbidden smile. Rafe’s wit has always been effortless, his charm foolproof. It makes me want to play along, and that’s probably the beer talking on my part.
Surely a kiss couldn’t hurt, though. Take his mind off his problems for a bit. And it’s practically a harmless gesture. It’s not like we haven’t kissed before, and we both know that it won’t go anywhere past a mere touching of our lips.
But as I lean farther into him, I know that’s likely the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself.
CHAPTER 7
Rafe
The past eight years of my life melt away when Calliope’s lips touch mine.
Gone.
My entire professional hockey career fades.
The women I’ve dated over time…faceless.
The money I’ve made, unimportant.
Fuck, I’d forgotten how good she tastes. Her tongue touches mine, and when an electric surge of longing pulses through me, I realize we are in dangerous territory. Calliope has no clue that I’ve carried an agonizing torch of desire for my first true love all these years. She can’t understand the depth of my feelings, and if I don’t draw away now, this could be disastrous.
She’ll never accept the truth.
I pull away, my eyes immediately taking her in.
I see eyes half-closed, a small smile playing on her mouth, and a tiny exhale of something that I can’t quite put my finger on.
Disappointment?
Regret?
Her eyelids flutter open, and her hazel-green eyes stare at me. Confusion sets in. “What’s wrong?”
Only about a million things.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” I reply.
Her chin jerks, and by the expression on her face, I can tell that thought never crossed her mind. Still, I hold her gaze.
Calliope, never one to back down, returns the look just as steadily. Finally, she says, “I know I shouldn’t even be attracted to you after…”
Her words crumble, drift away. And yet, she doesn’t drop her gaze from mine. She inhales a fortifying breath and then lets it out slowly. “I hated you for a very long time. And I’m ashamed of that because I was raised to never hate. But you hurt me so badly, and I went years without knowing what was so wrong with me that—”
“Nothing was wrong with you,” I exclaim, my hand shooting out to clasp the back of her neck. She finally tries to avert her gaze, attempting to turn her head. I hold tightly, squeezing her neck gently and finally, she gives me her regard again. “I thought I was doing what was best for you.”
Incredulity morphs her features, and her mouth opens in shock. “What was best for me? You crushed me.”
“Christ,” I mutter and frame her face with my hands. “I didn’t think you would follow your dreams if you were following mine.”
“That makes no sense,” she blurts.
“It did to me back then,” I reply bitterly. “You had big plans, Poppy. Nursing school. It was all you ever dreamed of. And yet you and I were so tied up in each other, I thought you’d lose sight of that. Moving away with me to Calgary so suddenly…you wouldn’t have had time to enroll in school, and I just thought that if you got off track with your college plans, you wouldn’t ever get back on. So I made the decision to leave you behind. I thought it was what was best for you, and that had to take precedence over what I wanted.”
I’m stunned when Calliope’s eyes flash with fury, and she knocks my hands away from her face. “You egocentric, sexist pig. How dare you decide what’s best for me? How dare you think that I didn’t have the fortitude to pursue my dreams while helping you follow yours at the same time?”