Regretting You Read online J.L. Beck, Cassandra Hallman (Blackthorn Elite #4)

Categories Genre: Angst, Dark, Erotic, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: , Series: Blackthorn Elite Series by J.L. Beck
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Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
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“How is your cunt doing? Sore?” he leans forward in his seat and whispers into my ear, his breath moving the tiny hairs against my neck. “Or are you ready for more?” When I don’t answer or turn around, he continues his taunting. “I’m coming by later for more, just so you’re prepared. Make sure you’re nice and wet for me. You know, like normal.”

Stupid. I’m so stupid, instantly my core clenches around nothing, and excitement swirls around in my belly like a tiny tornado. I hate the reaction I have to him; hate how much power he holds over my body.

“Good morning, class,” Mrs. Jarrid greets everybody with a smile. “Please get out your books and turn to page two-hundred-and-forty-one.”

I do as instructed and push the stupid thoughts away, preparing to do some actual learning. Reaching into my bag, I pull out a pencil and then drop the bag to the floor.

“Maybe we can fuck with the lights on this time?” Jackson whispers from behind me, and though it is a whisper, it’s loud enough that the people beside us can hear every word he’s saying. Ignoring him is my best bet. If I don’t react, he has no ammunition.

“What, you don’t want everyone to know how badly you want to ride my dick? Is that why you aren’t responding? Are you ashamed?” He slashes me with another sentence, and I swear my cheeks heat to the temperature of the sun.

Why is he embarrassing both of us like this? Why can’t he shut his fucking mouth? Does every little thing have to be about hurting me, breaking me down a little bit more?

Mrs. Jarrid says something up front, but I can’t focus because all I can hear is Jackson panting against the back of my neck.

“You should be used to this position, facing away from me…” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence because, thank you, Lord, Mrs. Jarrid interrupts him.

“Excuse me, Jackson, is there a reason you keep interrupting my class?”

“Uhh, no.”

“Well, you’ve been warned in the past about talking when I’m talking, and since you can’t seem to follow simple instructions, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Jackson huffs with disbelief, and I bite the inside of my cheek to stifle my grin. Finally, somebody puts him in his place.

“Nope, not kidding. Get out of my class, and only come back if you’re going to take it seriously. I’m not a babysitter.”

Jackson slams his hand down on the table, making me jump. Then I hear him shoving stuff in his bag and cursing under his breath. He’s pissed. I know it without even looking at him. I watch, holding my breath as he walks out of the room, the door closing behind him.

“Now, where were we?” Mrs. Jarrid starts again, and I smile, feeling like I can finally breathe. A calmness washes over me, and I spend the rest of the class focusing on every word she says. Eventually, class comes to an end, and we’re dismissed. Packing up my things slowly, I can only hope that Jackson has disappeared.

Turns out, luck isn’t on my side because as soon as I walk out the door, I find him leaning against the wall, talking to another girl. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and laughs at something he says. His green eyes find mine, and I can see the fiery rage in them. He’s trying to hurt me, and even though I don’t want to admit it, it hurts to see him with someone else. I drop my gaze but still watch him out of the corner of my eye as he takes her hand in his, and they walk off somewhere. He doesn’t hold my hand. He doesn’t even look at me when we have sex.

An ugly feeling floods my veins… jealousy. I know I have no claim on Jackson. All along, I knew very well that this was nothing but sex for him. He wants nothing but revenge. He wants to hurt me in any way he can without physically touching me.

I knew all of this, and yet seeing him with another girl has my heart aching and my stomach-churning. I can handle him hating me, punishing me, even using me. But I can’t handle this. I can’t handle being one of his many girls, his second choice at best. The thought of him having sex with someone only hours before he has sex with me… I can’t do it. Pressing a hand to my stomach, I feel the need to vomit away.

I’m such an idiot, letting my feelings get involved. Who am I kidding? My feelings were part of this all along. It’s his feelings that are absent. He uses me, and I need to keep reminding myself of that.


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