Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Now, it should be noted that Ramsey and I weren’t all that affectionate with each other. We high-fived. He sat close when we needed to whisper about someone. And on occasion, he’d hold my hand while we hung out at the tree. But that was as far as things had gone—at least physically. Emotional intimacy was a different story.
His whole body was tight as he held me, our fronts flush top to toe.
“What are you doing?” I mumbled against his chest.
He gathered me even closer until I was unable to move. Not that I was really trying to get away or anything. We’d shared a few pretty awesome hugs over the years. This one was no exception.
“I’m sorry, Thea. You’re right. I shouldn’t have just stood there, but I saw all that blood and I freaked out. I thought something was wrong. I know your mom died and thought maybe you had the same thing she did.”
I craned my head back to catch his gaze, but he was hunched over with his face buried in my neck. “You thought my mom died from having her period? What the heck? I told you she had cancer, like, a million times.”
“I know. I know. But you were bleeding, like a lot. I thought maybe that’s how it started and then you were going to die too. I can’t lose you. Oh God, Thea. I just can’t.”
Abandonment. It was Ramsey’s biggest fear. He’d never come right out and said it, but even as a kid, I could read between the lines.
When we’d sit in the tree after dark and he couldn’t see me, he’d often call out, “You still down there, Sparrow?” He’d ask like I was going to randomly disappear at any minute.
The world could have fallen out of orbit and plunged into a black hole and I still never would have left his side.
Secretly, I loved the way Ramsey needed me. At least someone did. The words had never been uttered between us, but we loved each other. Fierce. Patient. Unconditional. Which was probably why it scared him so much. I understood how he felt because it scared the hell out of me too.
It probably wasn’t the healthiest mentality, but the two of us were a pair of wings. One was worthless without the other.
“I sound like an idiot, don’t I? Just tell me to shut up.”
A blanket of warmth enveloped me as I snuggled deeper into his arms. “You’re not an idiot. Don’t say that.”
“Okay, but you’re right. I am the worst boyfriend in history. Tomorrow I’ll kick the ass of anyone who laughed at you, I swear.”
I giggled. “That’s a lot of ass kicking.”
His head popped up, and thankfully, the color was starting to return to his face. His eyes flicked between mine as he whispered, “Don’t scare me like that again.”
“I hear it’s a once-a-month thing. But I can promise I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
A chill went down my spine as his gaze dipped to my mouth. “Swear to me.”
“I swear. It’s me and you forever, Ramsey.”
“I swear too.”
His voice only became more urgent. “I can’t do this without you.”
“Do what?”
He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “Breathe.”
It was one simple word, but it held the weight of a thousand promises. We were two lonely people who relied on each other. We’d never been brainwashed enough to believe that the world wasn’t a horrible place. We’d been disenchanted with the beauty of life since the day we’d met. But we had each other. That was the one constant we needed for happiness.
He stared deep into my eyes. Searching. Imploring. Vowing things I’d never be able to understand as a kid. But my sweet Ramsey was silently promising them to me all the same.
And I loved him for it more than an entire dictionary of words could adequately express. The beat of my heart though. That was where the truth was always found. And mine was thundering in my chest under his scrutinizing gaze. As if it had a mind of its own, my tongue snaked out to dampen my lips.
That was all the invitation Ramsey needed. As he held my gaze, his lips came down, oh so gently brushing across mine.
Yes, I was his girlfriend.
Yes, he was a fourteen-year-old boy.
Yes, a lot of the other kids at school were already making out—a few had even graduated to talking about sex.
Was I prepared in any way, shape, or form for Ramsey to kiss me? Nope.
However, one taste of Ramsey Stewart and the tomboy inside me who was kissing her best friend was silenced by the shriek of a teenage girl.
His lips were soft.
His tongue was timid.
And his hands were gentle as they glided up my back.
Compared to the frenzied passion we’d later discover with each other, that kiss was tame.