Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Our house was egged three times. Fireworks were shot through the front windows twice. And, once, the Stewarts’ lawn was set on fire.
The cops did nothing.
Coincidentally, that was the same thing Ramsey’s dad did after Ramsey had been arrested. He spoke to the police when questioned, and during a TV interview with the local news, he told them all about his son’s “violent side” at home. After that, he went back to sitting on his ass and being a worthless waste of oxygen. Nora stayed locked in her room, and I was too lost in my own grief to entertain the idea of helping another person through the darkness.
I was dealing with a lot those first few weeks. I couldn’t differentiate between the emotional torture of what Josh had done to me and the devastation of having lost Ramsey. The pain was unbearable.
A lot of it stemmed from guilt.
What if I’d fought harder against Josh?
What if I hadn’t told Ramsey what he’d done to me?
What if we’d reported it to the police as soon as it had happened?
In every scenario, there was a “what if” in which I was to blame.
The story the police decided on was that Ramsey had flown into a blinding rage when he’d found out what Josh had done to me. I’d already caused enough damage to his case, so I didn’t bother to tell them that he’d taken his shoes off and lain in bed with me for well over an hour while I cried in his arms. Ramsey wasn’t violent, but they painted the picture of a monster.
As I forced my legs to carry me into the courtroom the day he was to be formally sentenced, I decided that if he was a monster, then I was a monster too. I still loved him with my whole heart and my entire being.
The stares I got that day with my father standing tall at my side made me want to peel out of my skin. I had no idea that was the last time I was going to see him for over twelve years. In my mind, the fact that he was going to prison changed nothing.
There’d be phone calls, visits, and a future where we could pick right back up where we’d left off. We were still a team. When he looked at me over his shoulder just before he was escorted out of the courtroom and mouthed, “I love you,” I naively believed we were on the same page. He was gone before I had the chance to reply to him that day. He knew though.
Our love wasn’t defined by time or circumstance. Or, at least, that was the romantic musing of a sixteen-year-old girl who had no concept of how much a person changed in the sixteen years he’d been sentenced to.
Just like the day my mother died, the clock started. But instead of counting to how many minutes he’d been gone, I was officially counting down.
My father drove me home and it was the strangest feeling. Mainly because, for the first time since we’d lost my mom, it wasn’t strange at all. We had a newfound respect for each other. We’d both loved and lost. And now we were both going to survive. Simple as that.
When we pulled into our driveway, the sound of Nora screaming could be heard up and down the street. Without the first thought or concern, I took off at a dead sprint.
Ramsey had told me a lot of stories about their dad. He was an abusive drunk who hated his children for no other reason than they reminded him of their mother. The bastard hadn’t even gone to his own son’s sentencing.
Nora was fourteen and a freshman in high school. She didn’t need a babysitter anymore. But there was no fucking way I was abandoning her with that asshole now that Ramsey was gone.
“Thea!” my dad yelled after me. “Stay out of it.”
I couldn’t stay out of it. Nora and Ramsey were my family. I didn’t slow as my ballet flats pounded against the grass through the neighbor’s yard to their house.
“You didn’t even try to help him!” Nora screamed.
I slung the door open without knocking and then my blood caught fire as I watched him charge Nora, pinning her to the wall with a hand around her throat. Streams of crimson dripped from her lip, and her eye was already starting to swell shut.
“Get your fucking hands off her!” I yelled, giving him a hard shove that did nothing to move him.
“You fucking whore!” her dad roared, releasing Nora and turning his anger on me.
Pain exploded inside me as I T-boned my back on the open door in my frenzied attempt to stay out of his reach.
His vile breath ghosted across my skin as he leaned in close. “You ever put your hands on me again and I will slit your throat. Do you understand me?”