Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Gem,” he whispered.
“You were right to stop calling me Gem and baby. I’m not worthy of those names. I’m not a Gem. And I’m no baby. I’m Opal. Dirty and wrong.”
“Fuck that,” he said, trying to keep himself calm.
He had to tread carefully. As her man, it was up to him to take down her barrier and then become it. To protect her soft center like his life depended on it.
And unlike the rest of his life, which he’d fucked up spectacularly, he was not going to mess up.
“That is not what you are doing, that is not what you are. That is him talking. That is his bullshit coming out of your mouth.”
“Not just him, darlin’. My whole life I’ve been treated like dirt because, obviously, everyone else could see what you can’t. I am dirt.”
“That’s complete and utter bullshit and I don’t want to hear it again. Come here.” He crooked a finger at her. He couldn’t back down now or those defenses would go up even stronger than before.
“I don’t want you to have it.”
“Not your choice to make, Gem. And you are a gem. And it’s got nothing to do with your name. In case you thought that. Not why I call you Gem. I call you that because you’re a shiny, bright light. Something precious and irreplaceable and one of a fucking kind.”
“Renard,” she whispered as she took a step toward him.
He was getting through. He just had to push a bit more.
“And something that is so beautiful and precious could never fucking be contaminated. It could never be dirty. You understand me? He might have made you feel that way. Others might have too, but it’s not fucking true, my baby. Do not let them win. You think this way, you push me away, they win. And nobody can beat us, Gem. Not as long as we’re together.”
“What about your porch only fitting one rocker?”
Fucking asshole.
He hated that he’d done this to her.
“I’ll build a bigger porch. If I can’t do that, then I kneel, and my queen sits on the rocker like it’s a throne.”
She sniffled and took a step toward him. “I might cry.”
“Then you cry. Do what you gotta do.”
“Are you sure you want this?” Another step.
“Never been more sure of anything.”
She slid her hand into his and he did the rest, pulling her gently to him. Holding her as tight as he dared.
Then he held her as she broke.
The tears came and they came. They rocked her body, they filled the room, and they broke his fucking heart.
Something he hadn’t realized he still had.
But it was there, shriveled and dried up, and all fucking hers.
For what it was worth.
When he felt her strength go, he picked her up and carried her to the world’s most uncomfortable couch. There he sat with her on his lap and waited until she calmed down.
“I need a tissue,” she said huskily. “Where do you keep them?”
“I’m a man who lives alone.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“I don’t have any tissues.”
“Oh. I’ll get some toilet paper.”
“You’re not going anywhere, Gem.” Renard drew the sleeve of his shirt down over his hand. “Look at me.”
She leaned back to glance up at him and he started wiping away her tears with his shirt sleeve.
“What are you doing?” she cried.
“Stay still or you’ll hurt yourself. And I’m cleaning you up.” He didn’t know why he had to explain that. Thought it was obvious.
“You can’t do that with your shirt sleeve!”
“Think I just did, Gem.”
Her face softened. “I can’t believe that’s why you call me Gem. That you actually believe all of that.”
“Don’t believe it, Gem. Know it. And I feel so fucking bad that I scared you before.”
“I’m sorry,” she told him.
“Why are you apologizing? You were scared of me, and you have every right to be after what happened to you.”
“I’m not scared of you, though. It wasn’t you I was seeing. It was him. Stefan. He . . . he used to beat me. And not just a little bit. A lot.”
“Baby, fuck.”
“First time he did it, I made up excuses for him. He was stressed. He had a lot going on. But it just got worse. He’d come to visit me and he’d be so angry. I . . . occasionally I get really bad headaches. Not often, but they started after he slammed my head into a wall.”
“Fucking motherfucker.” If he could get his hands on Stefan . . . probably a good thing that he was dead.
He didn’t need to end up in jail for murder.
Not when he had to take care of his girl.
“I was just reacting on instinct. Everything with Barney stirred up old memories. Although, if I’m honest, I’ve been having a lot of nightmares about Stefan lately.” She frowned. “I used to have nightmares about someone being in my room, watching me. Do you think that’s because Barney . . . because he was actually watching me?”