Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 114951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 575(@200wpm)___ 460(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 575(@200wpm)___ 460(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
Once the meeting wrapped and I dismissed them, I took care of my post-game to-do list as quickly as I could — including the world’s fastest press conference — before I grabbed my jacket and started down the tunnel toward the parking lot, ready to get the hell out of my own head.
But as I passed the friends and family room, something made me slow.
A flash of long golden hair. A familiar silhouette.
Ari.
I never stopped in the friends and family room, mostly because I never had a reason to. I didn’t have a wife waiting for me there. No kids were barreling out at the sight of me yelling, “Daddy!” I always slipped right by and out to my car, waving to players as they went left and I went right.
But tonight…
I stopped.
And I stepped inside.
“Coach!” Carter called out, his hair still damp from his shower. He gripped me in a big hug before pulling back and eyeing me cautiously. “What are you doing here?”
Fortunately, his new wife was holding their daughter just behind where he stood, the perfect excuse.
“Came to see my favorite girl, of course,” I answered, reaching for Lennon.
Livia Young, our team dentist and Carter’s unlikely companion, handed her daughter over with a serene smile. I felt like motherhood had softened her — not in a weakening way, but quite the opposite, actually. She seemed more at peace than I’d ever seen her, and the way she and Carter immediately reached for each other once her hands were empty, I knew they’d both found their person.
My chest tightened for a different reason then, a familiar ache squeezing my lungs as I wondered what that would be like.
It was hard for me to explain to myself, let alone anyone else, so I always kept it locked up — but I hadn’t ever moved on after Ariana. I’d tried. I’d spent my fair share of nights with women who I thought could capture my interest, but they never lasted. It was like there was unfinished business with Ari, and until I got that closure, I couldn’t move forward.
Even now, in this room, I had Lennon in my arms smiling and playing with the pin on my lapel as I chatted with Carter and Livia with apparent ease. But inside, all my focus was on where Ariana stood on the other side of the room, locked in conversation with Maven and Grace.
The apology I’d tried to give her, one too late and too little, had me rubbed raw. I wrestled with my guilt and frustration ever since she walked out of that room. If I were being honest, I felt helpless, because she was right here and yet I still couldn’t reach her.
It doesn’t matter, she’d said to me when we were finally alone.
It’s in the past.
It should have hurt, hearing her say those words. It should have knocked the breath from me, should have thrown me back to the cold hard ground of reality.
But it didn’t.
Because I simply didn’t believe her.
What we had… it was young and passionate, yes, but it was real. It was fucking everything.
And I just couldn’t accept that she never thought about it anymore, about me, about us — especially now that fate had thrown us back into each other’s lives.
She is fucking married, you dumb, egotistical prick.
To your boss.
But it didn’t matter. I was firmly in the land of delusion.
My common sense could try to reason with me all it wanted; the facts didn’t change in my mind.
We had too many words left unsaid for me to leave her alone now that I had my chance.
Besides, there was just something about Nathan that I didn’t like. Ninety percent of the time, he seemed like the perfect gentleman. I watched him sweetly kiss and hold Ariana, listened to him dote on her when she wasn’t in the room, saw the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was looking.
He loved her. She loved him. That much was easy to see.
But I still didn’t trust him.
And I didn’t like her being with him.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was acting so unlike myself, it was terrifying. I was the stable, professional, level-headed coach of a national league hockey team. I’d always put hockey above everything. I committed my whole life to it, not even surrendering enough time to properly try to have any sort of relationship outside those I had with my team and staff.
And here I was, dreaming of my general manager’s wife and hallucinating that I had any sort of chance in hell to win my second chance with her.
In what world would this turn out well?
That realization sobered me, and I found myself handing Lennon back to Livia, wishing both her and Carter a good night. I adjusted my messenger bag strap on my shoulder and headed for the door. I shouldn’t have stopped in at all. I needed to go home and cool off. I needed to get a fucking grip on reality.