Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
“Yeah, baby,” I said. “Come on.”
I helped her on the bike again, fixing her dress before I climbed on. I took the highway south and then turned off it onto a road that climbed the ridge east of the city. I’d found the overlook six weeks after I got out of prison, on a night when I needed to go somewhere away from everyone where I could breathe. I’d never brought anyone there until Jade.
We pulled off the road onto a flat gravel turnout with a low guardrail at its edge. The city spread out below and ahead of us in the midmorning haze. The Cumberland River caught light somewhere below us. The rest was rooftops and tree lines and the far-off ribbon of the interstate.
I cut the engine. Jade got off first. She walked straight to the guardrail, stopped just short of it, and wrapped her arms around herself. She was still wearing the navy dress. The sun was full on her. She held herself like she was cold.
I stayed by the bike and watched her as she stared out at the city below. The wind moved her ponytail in the gentle breeze. She stayed like that a full two minutes, not moving other than the occasional shiver.
Then she let loose one small sob and I moved to her. I didn’t touch her. Just stood beside her and looked out at the same view. I didn’t know how long I could stand to let her hurt without pulling her into my arms and trying to comfort her.
“He smirked at me, Rip,” she said. Her voice was shaking badly now, the controlled surface she’d maintained through the hearing gone. “When the judge said he upheld the restraining order. He smirked. Like it didn’t mean anything. Like I didn’t --” She stopped. Her breathing had gone ragged. “I did everything right today. I said all of it. Every awful, humiliating piece of it, out loud, in front of strangers. And he just --” Her voice broke on the last word. Then she was crying in earnest. Not quietly but a hard, full-body kind of crying she’d probably been holding back for a long Goddamned time.
I put my arms around her, and she pressed her face against my chest and held on. I held the back of her head and pressed her gently against my chest. Her whole body shook. The dress was thin cotton, and I could feel the heat of her through it as she broke out in a sweat. I stood still and held her and just let it happen.
After the worst of her tears finally slowed, she kept her face pressed against my chest, still clinging to me tightly.
When she lifted her head, her eyes were swollen and red. She looked completely wrung out. She looked up into my face, her own face wet with her tears. Whatever she searched for, she must have found because she stilled.
Then she rose up on her toes. Her mouth touched mine. Soft and tentative. I let it sit there for a few seconds, the light pressure radiating so much warmth she nearly burned me alive. I felt what she wanted. I also knew this couldn’t happen. Not in the aftermath of two hours of fear and adrenaline and grief and a courthouse now nearly full of strangers who were hearing about the worst days of her life. The desperate need to feel something that didn’t hurt. I lifted my hands to frame her face and ended the kiss gently.
She stilled, her expression hurt and headed toward embarrassment.
“I want to kiss you,” I said. I looked at her directly, making sure she understood that part. “I want to kiss you and so much more.” She searched my gaze for something she desperately needed. “Just not today,” I said. “Not when you’ve endured what you just went through. You deserve better than something that starts when you’re at your most vulnerable.” I kept my hands framing her face steady, making her hold my gaze so she could see my sincerity. “When you’re ready. When you’re actually ready and not in an emotionally fragile state, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not ever leaving you on your own.” I paused. “Right now, I’m here to protect you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel safe.” I leaned down closer to her. “This is something you’re going to take your time with, honey. You’ll know when you’ve made the right choice.”
She looked at me for a long time without speaking. The city hummed below us. A car passed on the road behind us and disappeared. Jade dropped from her tiptoes and settled flat-footed on the gravel. I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not. I thought I might have seen a look of hurt, like she thought I’d rejected her outright.