Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“Mandy, you passed out. That’s not okay.”
“Mandy?” Bellamy asks. “How long?” Her voice is bland, void of emotion, not giving me even a small idea of how she’s feeling about this.
“A few months, but not really,” I tell her. “It just kind of gradually happened, and we couldn’t stop it.” It’s the truth. We tried. We knew what was at stake, and we still couldn’t stay away from one another.
“So, what? You’ve been lying to me this entire time?”
“He didn’t want to lie to you,” Amanda speaks up. “I asked him if we could keep it between us until we knew if what we had was more. I was afraid of losing you,” Amanda says, her voice cracking.
“Right.” Bellamy laughs humorlessly. “You were afraid of losing me, but that didn’t stop you from fucking my dad.”
“It’s not like that,” I defend.
“Sure. Sure.” Bellamy nods.
“Bellamy, please,” Amanda cries.
“Whatever hate you have, give it to me. Not to her. She’s lying in a fucking hospital bed. I know this is a shock to you. Hell, it was a shock to us, but the fact still remains that I’m in love with her. I tried my hardest to fight it, but Bellamy, I’ve never felt like this before. Not even with your mother.”
“I just got you back. Things were good, and now this?” She wipes at the tears falling unchecked over her cheeks. “I can’t do this.” She shakes her head as she turns to leave.
“Where are you going? You’re upset. You can’t drive.” I’m torn because I want to take care of her, but I don’t want to leave Amanda either.
“I’m a big girl, Dad, but considering who you’re fucking, you already knew that,” she spits before tearing back the curtain and rushing out of the small space.
“Go. Go after her,” Amanda tells me.
Leaning down, I press a soft kiss to her lips. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her, before rushing after my daughter.
“Bellamy!” I call out, seeing her walking toward her vehicle in the parking lot. I run after her. Thankfully, she stops once she reaches her SUV. “I’m sorry.”
She glares at me. “What exactly are you sorry for, Dad?”
“For not telling you sooner.”
“Right, and what about the fact that you’re sleeping with my best friend?”
I rub my hands over my face, trying to find the words to make her understand. “I loved your mother,” I tell her. “The two of you were my world, and then things started to shift. I admit that I put more time into my job than I should have, but I was trying to make a better life for the three of us. Somewhere along the way, that love changed. It’s still there. I will always love your mother because she gave me you.”
She continues to glare at me, so I keep talking.
“It’s not like one day we decided this is what’s going to happen. It was slow.” I spare her the more intimate details. “We both tried to fight it, but the pull was too strong. I love her, Bellamy. I love Amanda, and I love Mia, and I love you. I know to the world, even to you, that being together might be wrong, but it doesn’t feel wrong. I don’t see Mandy as your best friend, Bellamy. I see her as the woman who snuck in when I wasn’t looking and gave me a second chance at love. At a life I thought was no longer possible for me. I know where I fucked up the first time, and I won’t do that again.”
“So, what? Mia is your second chance to be a present father?” she asks, and I can hear the pain behind her words.
“No, sweetheart, this is my second chance with you. The one we both fought hard for. Nothing will replace that. I didn’t fight hard enough to push you to take your visits with me when you were younger. Your mom even told me I should make you, but I never wanted to upset you. That decision is one I’ll regret until the day I take my last breath. Not a day has passed since your mother told me she was pregnant that I have not loved you with my whole heart. I thought I was helping, but instead, it just made you hate me more. I’m sorry for that. You allowing me back into your life, to be there when you married Reid, and had Coral, those moments are precious to me.”
She still doesn’t speak, just cries quietly, listening, so I keep rambling. “Maybe it’s because I’m older now, and I can see more clearly my mistakes. I don’t know, but I do know that I’ve never felt romantic love like this. That’s not a dig at your mom,” I add, just in case that’s how she takes my confession. “She found Cliff, and she’s happy. I can see it in her eyes every time I see her these days, and Amanda puts that same sparkle in my eyes. I don’t have to see it for myself to know that it’s there. I can feel it in my chest. In every touch, every whispered hello or goodbye.”