Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“They do.”
“I think I might cry,” she said, grabbing her skirts, and rushing back to the dressing room.
I got things settled for payment and delivery and was waiting for her at the door by the time she came back out in her jeans, tee, and flip-flops.
Ten minutes later, we were sitting in a booth at a pizza joint, and Tessa kept looking over whenever a server passed, hoping for our pizza.
“Let me guess, you were one of the kids reading a bunch of books to get a free personal pan pizza.”
“I did, actually. Once.”
“Why only once?”
“Because no one would bring me to the pizza place to redeem my certificate.” She paused, then added, “I’m still kind of disappointed that I never got the pin.”
Well, that gave me an idea, didn’t it?
“Did you ever do it?” she asked.
“Nah. I probably could have walked down the street at one of our apartments to redeem mine, but I was usually too busy trying to take care of my mom.”
“Have you had any news about her?”
“Not for a while, no. I’m hoping that no news is good news. It seems like I mostly get called when she’s in a manic episode. I’m praying the new meds will finally start to make a difference.”
“How long has it been since she—oh, God, that looks good,” she said as the server brought over our pie on a metal stand. “Oh, it smells even better. Thank you,” she said, shooting the server a smile as she was handed the paper plates. “This is not going to be pretty,” she said as she slid a slice onto her plate.
“Am I going to be able to get a slice or two?”
“Two might be pushing it,” she said with a smile before taking her first bite, having to open and close her mouth like a fish when the too-hot cheese burned her mouth. “Oh, so… how long has it been since your mom was, like… I don’t know the right word here. Since she was… like herself?”
“The last time I personally knew her as balanced was about three weeks before I got arrested. I honestly don’t know a lot of details about her ups since she’s been put away. That’s actually one of the things I’d like you to find out.”
“I can do that. Who would I ask? The doctors?”
“You’re not likely to see the doctors much. But the nurses will have all the information.”
“So I would just ask when was the last time she was ‘balanced’?”
“Yeah.”
“Would I know if she was balanced?”
“Yes. My mom’s bipolar is… it’s really severe. So when she’s in an episode, you will know it. Whether it is manic or depressive. When the latter, she’s practically catatonic. Doesn’t get out of bed even to shower. She might stare blankly at the wall or just sleep.
“As with the former, her mania used to present itself in a more mild way. I’d wake up to find she’d painted the whole house while I’d slept. She’d go out to bars and party with strangers. She’d make these grand plans for vacations I knew we’d never take. She talked fast and was very positive.”
“But now?”
“Now, she seems to slip right into delusions or hallucinations. I only saw that briefly right before I got locked up. But from the sound of things, it has happened on and off a lot since.”
“Is it always so hard to control?”
“No. This is very rare. Most people who have bipolar can be managed with medications. And I still believe she can be. But medications are all trial-and-error. It can take weeks or months to know if a medication is working. And it’s not usually just one medication they’re on. It could be mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants, or benzodiazepines.”
“So if they fiddle with one, it could mess with the others. And you might have to fiddle with the others to figure out which one.”
“That’s exactly it. There are seventy-plus meds used to treat bipolar. I believe they will find the right combination eventually.”
“And you can have your mom back.”
“And she can have herself back.”
“That’s a really sweet way of looking at it.”
“I can’t imagine what she’s going through. I know that when she’s in a really bad episode, she usually has a lot of memory gaps. I’m kind of hoping she doesn’t remember how bad it’s been while she’s been in treatment.”
“I don’t know if that would be a blessing or a curse. Not remembering,” she clarified as she slid another slice onto her plate.
“That’s a hard one. Since, I guess, the hard shit does have a part in making us who we are.”
“For better or worse,” Tessa agreed. “This was well worth having to go do a drug test,” she said, finishing up her second slice. “Though, I better be careful or I won’t fit into that dress in… how long exactly do you think it’ll be before the wedding?”