Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“Yes, I did notice that you’d roped my mother into your protest.”
“Wrong.” I held up a finger. “Your lovely mother knocked on my front door earlier today and practically begged me to allow her to be involved. Who am I to ignore the pleas of a noble viscountess?”
“You ignore the pleas of a duke just fine,” he said.
“That’s because you’re a no-good, rotten bastard, and your mother is an absolute fucking delight. Did you see her waving around that sign demanding that we save Susan’s melons? She’s one of us now.”
“It sounds like you’re starting a cult over at the allotments.”
“Maybe I am. Me and your mother will probably run it. What are you gonna do about it, Mr Fancypants? Cults aren’t illegal in the U.K.”
“Perhaps I should utilise my connections and petition for a change in the law.”
“And you wonder why I call you a tyrant.”
Oliver gave me a withering look and turned to Shaun, running his hand down his face. “Shaun, are you sure there’s nothing you can charge her with?”
“I’m afraid not, Your Grace. Unless she actively breaks the law, there’s nothing we can do. Rose is scarily good at toeing the line of legality.”
I smiled.
That probably wasn’t something a cop should admit, but oh well.
Oliver side-eyed me. “Why do you look so proud of that?”
“Because I just know that really pisses you off, and that pleases me immensely.” I stretched my legs out in front of me. “Shaun, this bed sucks. Can I have a pillow?”
He stared at me. “No.”
“Why not? I’m not a criminal. I’m in time out. Like I’m a toddler.”
“You’re in there to think about how insane you are,” he said. “And where the hell did you even get the idea to make a lettuce bikini for your protest?”
I tapped the side of my head. “Right up here.”
“I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s not even close to the strangest thing I’ve ever seen you do.”
“How is it possible that she’s done stranger things than this?” Oliver asked. “I feel like I’ve been in the twilight zone ever since I arrived in Hanbury. Just when I think this one is somewhat normal, she pulls a stunt like this, and I wonder what the hell I’m doing with my life.”
“That’s because you met the Queen of the Weirdos as soon as you arrived,” Shaun replied. “And pissed her off almost instantly.”
Actually, the first thing he’d done to me after we met was make me very happy indeed, but I wasn’t about to bring that up.
God only knew Oliver had referred to that night enough for the both of us.
“You were doomed from that moment,” Shaun finished.
I grinned at Oliver. “You’re welcome.”
Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. “Rose, that’s nothing to be proud of.”
“I’m sorry.” I held up a hand. “While I’m being discussed in my capacity as the Queen of the Weirdos, I must request that you address me as Your Majesty.”
“Bloody hell.” He stared at me with his bright blue eyes for a moment, then shook his head and turned away. “Well, if you’re not being arrested, there’s no need for me to be here. You don’t need a lawyer.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What does me needing a lawyer have to do with your unfortunate presence?”
“I was considering swallowing my pride and hiring you one,” he said, looking over his shoulder. “After all, like you said, you have the legal right to protest, whether I like it or not.”
“And you… would hire me a lawyer? Even though I was running through the village in a lettuce leaf bikini with a sign that says, ‘Just Stop Oli’ in one hand and a chicken in the other?”
His eye twitched. “You also took a chicken on your protest?”
“The chicken was safely and quickly returned to the allotments,” Shaun said tiredly. “Don’t worry.”
Oliver glanced between us. “Was it Waffles?”
A sinister smile crept across my face. “If I’m using a chicken to threaten you, it’ll always be my little snookums.”
“Snookums,” he echoed, taking a step further back from the cell door. “Shaun, what are the grounds for a mental health hold?”
“Referring to a rooster as her snookums is not one of them,” he replied. “If it were, I’d have had her checked years ago.”
“Shh.” I pressed my finger to my lips and glared at him. “Waffles can’t find out he wasn’t my first feathered love. We don’t know what he might do to Oliver if he knows the truth.”
Oliver spun back to look at me. “Why would your weird love affair with your rooster have anything to do with me?”
“Have you spoken to Isadora by any chance?” I narrowed my eyes. “And it has everything to do with you. There’s every chance I’ll rile Waffles up before I let him loose in your mansion one day.”
“It’s a manor house, not a mansion.”