Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
She glared at me, then grabbed Waffles the rooster, tucked him against her upper body, and leant in towards him. “You see that man there, Waffles?”
He clucked.
“He’s the one I’ve been telling you about.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Oh? You’ve been talking about me? I didn’t know you thought about me that much, princess.”
She twitched as if my words had startled her and quickly sputtered out, “I don’t!”
Isadora leant forwards, grinning. “Oh, this is fun. It’s rare to see the Ice Queen this flustered.”
“I am not flustered!” Rose’s voice squeaked, belying her real emotions, and Waffles escaped her grasp with a weird clucking noise.
“You look flustered to me, bestie.”
“Don’t you have a job to go to?”
I looked on with amusement as Isadora shook her head. “Nope. It’s my day off.”
“Don’t you have your own plot to tend to? Or your mum’s strawberries to check on?” Rose ground out—through gritted teeth, if the clenching of her jaw was anything to go by.
“While you’re losing an argument to this guy?” She cocked her thumb at me, her grin sliding into a smirk. “Absolutely not. This is way more fun.”
Rose carefully removed the chick from her head and set it on the ground, then got up and stalked into her shed where she retrieved a fork from the wall and brandished the prongs in the direction of Isadora. “Say that again.”
“Perhaps we should put the fork down, Rose,” I said dryly. “Like you said, I’m liable to call the police, and I’m sure Shaun wouldn’t mind letting you make use of your cell for a little while.”
She dropped with the fork with a resounding, “Ugh!” before hanging it back up. “When did you two get so buddy-buddy? We’ve been friends our entire lives. I can’t believe he’d side with you over me.”
“I can,” Isadora said brightly.
“Actually, you’re right, I can,” Rose continued. “Shaun has been looking for excuses to get rid of me for years.”
“Well, dead women tell no tales.” Isadora’s voice was far too chirpy for the sentence she’d just said. “Nor do they get put in time-out at the age of twenty-nine.”
I cleared my throat and tapped my watch. “Whenever you’re ready, Rose.”
She sighed heavily and closed the shed door behind her. “All right, all right. But you’re changing your shoes. I don’t want to be responsible for you breaking your toes.”
“I don’t have any other shoes.”
“George!” She leant over a fence. “I know you’re in there! Stop hiding from Susan! It’s not a big deal that you saw up her skirt this morning!”
“Goddamn it, Rose!” An elderly man I recognised as the wearer of a leafy loin cloth during the protest stomped out of the shed in the adjoining plot and huffed in her direction. “Stop telling everyone my private business!”
“Just admit you fancy her and put me out of my misery,” she retorted. “I need a favour.”
“After you were just shouting about how I saw Susan’s bloomers? Absolutely not.”
“Aw, come on. I’ll put in a good word for you.” She reached over and nudged him with her elbow, smiling sweetly.
“I don’t need you to put in a good word for me. I’m not interested,” he grumbled. After a moment, he followed it up with, “What are you thinking?”
Isadora coughed into her hand, almost certainly masking a laugh.
Rose motioned for George to come closer, and she leant towards him to whisper in his ear. He nodded along with whatever it was she was saying to him, and a minute later, he stood upright, cleared his throat, and shuffled off into his shed. He quickly returned with a pair of boots and held them up in my direction.
“Does a size ten work for you?”
I blinked between them before nodding and going over to take them from him. “They do. Thank you.”
“There’re socks stuffed inside them. Clean ones.” He looked down at my feet and sniffed. “Stupid shoes for an allotment.”
“George,” Rose deadpanned. “You’re wearing sandals, too.”
“I never said I wasn’t stupid.” With that, he turned his back to us and shuffled back into his shed.
Rose sighed and shook her head. “Put those on and follow me.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied.
“And you,” she said, pointing to Isadora. “Go and find something else to do.”
Isadora whipped a white cardboard envelope out from the bag next to her. “I should have known better than to think you’d help me worm the cat.”
“You’re a vet. You’ll manage just fine.” Rose waved her off. “Just don’t forget his Dreamies.”
“Oh, yes,” Isadora drawled. “The cat who decapitates rabbits and eats their innards simply cannot have his quarterly medicine without his Dreamies. God forbid.”
Rose shot her a look, but she responded with a simple grin, then glanced at me.
“Good luck,” she said to me. “She’s in a fiery mood today.”
“As opposed to her usual, calm disposition?” I replied, putting my shoes in Rose’s shed.