Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 141464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
Everything I’ve been feeling since I woke up alone this morning explodes out of me in a rush. “You can’t keep disappearing on me, then come back and use your magic dick to make it all better. Then do it again. And again.”
He draws back, amusement playing over his lips. “Magic, huh?”
I slap his arm. “Of course you focused on that.”
He sighs and rakes his hands though his hair, leaving it sticking up all over the place. “I told you I wasn’t good boyfriend material. Not good at relationships. I’m not…I don’t know how. I’m trying.”
Misery and frustration fold around him like a cloud.
As annoyed as I am, he has a point. His silences have shortened. Heck, he even called a few hours after leaving this morning. For him, that’s a big improvement.
Is it enough for me, though?
“You’re right,” I say.
He tilts his head, like he didn’t hear correctly, and I don’t even think he’s being sarcastic.
“I’m sorry,” I continue. “I know you’re trying. I want to give you space when you need it—”
“I don’t want space.” He hugs me tight against his body. “I want to permanently attach myself to you. But I think you’d get sick of me fast.”
Is that what he’s doing? Trying to leave before he gets left? “I never get tired of you. I do get tired of feeling uncertain about us.”
“The only thing I’m certain about is how I feel about you.” He closes his eyes and exhales a slow breath. When he opens them again, he seems sad or tired. “I don’t want you to see me at my worst and bail.”
Well, that’s something I understand. “You think I don’t worry about the same thing?”
“It’s different.”
“No, it’s not,” I insist. “You’re not as complicated as you think you are.” A list of things I know are true come to mind, and I give him each one. “You came from an awful situation. You survived. You righted some wrongs. And you’re a good man.”
“I’m definitely not a good man.”
“Strongly disagree.” I tap his chest. “We’re using my metrics here. No one else’s.”
His lips quirk.
“You’re loyal and kind—”
“No, I’m not.” He laughs. “I’m grumpy and mean to people all the time.”
“Well, people shouldn’t be annoying, then.” I shrug. “You’re loyal to your brothers. You’re kind to me. You take care of your sister. A lot of brothers would’ve told her she’s on her own.”
“I do that out of guilt, Margot.”
“That you feel guilt at all means you’re a decent person. But I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. And I have a feeling Jezzie would agree with me.”
He frowns and his lips part as if he wants to warn me to leave Jezzie out of it.
“I didn’t say I’m going to ask her,” I say. “That’s for you two to work out. But I have a feeling she’s not as mad at you as you think.”
“Margot—
I don’t want to derail our conversation. “I want you to be yourself with me. That’s what love is. Isn’t it? Seeing your person at their worst and loving them anyway?”
He frowns. Like this is a novel concept.
“My love isn’t conditional. I like you.” I poke my finger in his chest. “Who you are today.”
“Today, I’m a man who snuck out of your bed early in the morning.”
I blow out a long breath. “Yes. And yet here you are tonight.”
“I missed you.” His voice softens. “It ended up being a good day.” He stares at me with such a serious expression, I almost doubt his claim. He taps the side of his head. “I had your voice in here, reminding me to give Cain a chance.”
“You did?”
He nods quickly. “And after I left his place, there was no one else I wanted to talk to about how things went.”
“Really?”
“Well, yeah.” He lifts one shoulder. “You did it.”
“What did I do?” I tilt my head, watching him carefully.
“You pushed me to go see him. I would’ve waited… dragged it out longer if you hadn’t.” His arms tighten around me, pulling me closer. “So, thank you,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my ear.
“You’re welcome.” I rest my hands on his sides, fingers curling into his T-shirt. “I don’t mean to be so pushy.”
“Sometimes I need a push.”
“I think we all do.”
For a long moment, we just breathe together in the quiet.
Jigsaw
Demons give me strength.
I can’t believe I said all that mushy shit that’s been swirling around in my head out loud.
And she listened to all of it. And she still wants me here.
“Have you eaten?” she asks.
“I can always eat. You know this.”
She lightly taps her fist against my stomach. “So unfair. Come on. I’ll make you a grilled cheese.”
“Won’t say no to that.” I follow her out of her bedroom. “You mind if I change too?”
She glances over at me. “Not at all. I want you to be comfortable here.”